Goodbye, Yamazaki! 1

If I remember correctly, I had come home from a bad day at school. Or maybe it was summer, and I had a hard day at work. Anyway, I had a crappy day, and I came home hoping that Gaki would be there to cheer me up. I opened the video file to find Downtown and Cocorico, wearing suits with a very somber tone to the scene. I looked just above their heads to see a banner reading “Goodbye, Yamazaki!!” My mood escalated tremendously. After years of having to put up with Yamazaki trying to push his way to the TV screen, he’s being sent packing?! Oh Gaki, I knew you’d make the right choice someday. Let’s just hurry up and get this episode over with, so we can have the show feature the four people I can stand!





Hamada breaks the news that Yamazaki will be leaving the program, and today will be his last episode, due to his “graduation.” Yamazaki is brought out, wearing a tuxedo that looks too big in the shoulders, to explain his feelings. Hamada tries to put the mood into perspective with an “although it’s a sad time, it’s also a happy time” type of speech, when all I really care about is whether the door’s going to hit Yamazaki on the way out. Matsumoto brings up that neither he nor Endo had heard anything about his reasoning behind leaving the show. Yamazaki tries to spit out this crap about how he’s found a girlfriend and implies that he won’t have time. Then he tells the real story about how he wants to appear on more than one show, and they tell him that ain’t going to work, so he decided to leave. Apparently, Matsumoto realizes that Yamazaki is worthless, because he’s turning away from the camera to laugh. Wait. . . That’s why he’s laughing, right? It has to be.

Anyway, Yamazaki has chosen his best 5 clips from his time on Gaki No Tsukai. C’mon. Let’s get this over with. . .

First is Yamazaki’s attempt at becoming a “Super Yogore” comedian. (I actually thought about covering this episode. I’ll get to it eventually, I promise.) In an attempt to be a shock comedian, Yamazaki goes to a “Love hotel” with a dresser. Love hotels are hotels that you rent out on basically hourly rates, and are for, well, making love in. He proceeds to wash and give an “erotic massage” to the dresser, while Downtown watch from a separate room via camera.

In fourth place is Yamazaki versus Jimmy Oonishi. Not just one episode, but over several episodes, Yamazaki and Jimmy Oonishi, which many of you know from the High School Penalty game as the “Ten. . . Ten. . . Ten. Ten. Ten. Ten. Ten” guy, had a feud going on. The clip shows Jimmy doing a move to Yamazaki’s car a la Rick James on Charlie Murphy’s couch. (That first note that shows up during that scene says that is really Yamazaki’s car.)

Coming in third place is a prank that the show played on Yamazaki in which an actor plays the role of the older broth of the girl that Yamazaki is dating. Basically, Yamazaki tries to bitch out and act like he’s not there AFTER he asks “Who’s there?” when the actor knocks. Dumbass. Then when the accomplice writer “accidentally” opens the door for the actor, Yamazaki acts like he’s not Yamazaki. The prank is revealed and he gets all teary-eyed, etc.



Second place is the “Haunted School Piano Concert”. In a penalty game, Yamazaki’s forced to walk around a “haunted school” getting instructions and sheet music on songs to play on the piano. It’s dark and eerie enough, but with added scares from the set-up traps placed by the production crew, there was lots of screaming and whining going on.

Number one is “Yamazaki vs. Moriman: Battle of the Blaze”. As for the reasoning behind this, I’m pretty sure that if you’ve seen the series, you’d know why it’s easy for anyone to enjoy. If you’re a Yamazaki fan, you’ll love that he’s not afraid to make fun of himself. If you’re not a Yamazaki fan (you probably can tell which side of the fence I’m on), you get to see him get his ass handed to him repeatedly. Featured in the clip is a brief history of the “Hot, hot ankake” battle, in which competitors pour hot soup over each other in order to make the other give up.

After the clip, it’s time for the members and prominent members of the staff to say their goodbyes. First up is Producer Suga, starts his message with the traditional “Thanks for these 12 years”, etc. message, and then descends into speaking complete gibberish because he doesn't have much else to say. Then Cocorico gives a speech, and Downtown drops a bomb basically saying “It’s a good thing you quit, because otherwise we were going to.” Ha! ROFL! OWNED!


Next up is Yamazaki’s turn to speak to the audiences. He basically gives the typical “Thank you for cheering me on” speech but adds “I just want to appear on a few other shows”. Ha! Yet again! Ha!
As soon as Yamazaki leaves the stage, Matsumoto explains that his leaving makes it easier on the show. A group of five is a hard thing, and having only four people makes it easy to work together and easier to split up into teams. Way to look at all the positives, Matsumoto! It looks like we’ll be seeing a lot more 2 vs 2 competitions on Gaki No Tsukai, with four people that are going to make this interesting. This calls for cute, little, celebratory emotes! (^__^)b \o/ 8-)
Hrm. . . “Yama-chan wa. . . Gaki No Tsukai Yamahende!”... Doesn’t that mean, “Yama-chan isn’t leaving Gaki No Tsukai”? Wait. . . WHAT?! No! Why is Yamazaki standing behind that curtain? And what in the world is he doing in that shirt?! This is all a joke? No! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Why is the music starting? Oh, not Ricky Martin... And what's with the Engrish?
. . .
Oh great, now he's doing Para-Para dancing?! Leave. Now.

Okay, Gaki. You got me. I thought you'd kicked him to the curb. Jokes on me. Har har har. Overall, I gave this episode a 4-star rating. If they'd actually booted him off of the show, it would be along the lines of a 25-star rating. I've found out that I really didn't like this episode because I had to subtitle it, and this episode is almost all talk. Secondly, the announcer's voice during the montage is so damn slow, I'd have to leave some subtitles up for 10 seconds just waiting for him to finish a sentence. *shakes fist vehemently at person who requested this episode* Anyway, I guess it's better that I just go ahead and get reviewing it out of the way. I probably won't do most of the others. They're the same format, with different clips and slightly funnier parting messages. The ending parts where he proclaims he's not leaving are the only parts worth the time, in my opinion.