Oyassan!

Hello.

Been a while since a video post around here, huh?

Well, I feel a little bit rusty, but I'll try and shake it off. Anyways, I'm working on something coming soon.

Hopefully, you'll keep today's BBB in mind the next time you go to get your hair cut.



The scene starts off in the barber shop, with Kouji Imada playing "Kou-chan" who we can assume is either the student or even son of Oyassan, played by Matsumoto. Hamada has come in for a haircut after a long time. Hamada, trying to make small talk, tries to get Oyassan to complement Kou-chan. This sets off Oyassan into a flurry of insults and other outrage at the disappointment that is Kou-chan.



Also, some more translator's notes:

• "Oyassan" is like a contraction of the word "Oyaji-san", which means something like "shopkeeper". In this case, I figured they were using like a nickname so I figured I wouldn't change it.


• "sparta" is a word sometimes used in Japanese to describe extremely strict education practices, like they did for children that were destined to be warriors back in Sparta. So, when Oyassan says "You have to be strict with him, he only responds to tough training", he's more literally saying "You have to strict with him because this is SPARTA!"


• The "What's the bread you can't eat, even though it's bread?" joke is hard to explain because it's wordplay, but I'll try. The word "pan" means bread in Japanese. So the joke is really: What's the "pan" you can't eat even though it's "pan"?
  
  This is one of those jokes with many answers, but some of the most popular are: frying pan, Peter Pan, Ja-pan, etc. Basically, any word that ends with "pan" that is not a type of bread will work.

I like the dark humor in this skit because at the beginning you never see it coming. You just think, "Oh, a barber shop. Maybe some odd gossip or something will happen here". And then it's a complete beatdown. The gushing part was by far the funniest for me, for several reasons. First, the sheer look that Imada had on his face. His goofiness had been on display the entire skit, but it just shines there. Second, the sheer amount of blood. It got EVERYWHERE! Third, and one of the reasons I love Gottsu Ee Kanji so much, is YOU in the background laughing her ass off. You can tell that's her and it just makes you laugh even more.

I was a little disappointed though at the ending. It is true that a lot of Gottsu skits only have the main premise defined and its up to the actors to bring it to some form of closure, but this one should have had a better ending. The last minute or so just wasn't that great (except for maybe the uncooperative animal actor in the back). The problem is, that I can't think of any better way to end the skit. It's really hard to say "It could/should have been better" when you can't really define what "better" would be.

So! My challenge to you out there is: How would you end the scene? Comment away!
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In the Spirit of Kill Bill!

*climbs out from under a pile of work and papers*

Well, hello there, everyone.

It's been quite some time since I've posted anything video around here. Well, I managed to get some free time, and worked hard enough to squeeze out this BBB for ya!


Today's BBB comes from Cocorico Miracle Type, which was a very good show. The show mainly features Cocorico, Norito Yashima and three female actresses. They also tend to have special guests on the show.

The format of the show itself is fairly mixed, which is one of the things that I liked about it. Sometimes, it would be a mainly "talk-based" show, and sometimes they would break out comedy sketches left and right, and sometimes they would do longer dramatic pieces that might span a few episodes.

As the title states, today's BBB is done in the spirit of the popular movie "Kill Bill". Tanaka plays the role of "Uma", someone who becomes inspired to take revenge on people who have done her wrong, who are played by Norito Yashima as the counterpart to the cycloptic Elle Driver and the stunning Manami Konishi as the fake O-ren Ishii.

As we you know if you watch a lot of Japanese comedy, a good foreigner mockery = instant funny, and this is no real exception. All the characteristics are there: the fake noses, the staccato speech, the abuse of dialect when they seem to be struggling with standard Japanese.

If you've seen the real Kill Bill, you will be surprised at just how good Yashima does as Elle. Her incessant whistling and strutting really made me dislike her character. As for Manami, she's showing why she's managed to be such a big name. I will say that she seems to go in and out of her accent a little bit as the story goes, but she's really pretty. The clip also features Hiroshi Shinagawa, from comedy group Shinagawa Shouji as the angry Chinese man who smacks the "Gogo" wannabe for swinging around a mandarin orange. And who can forget Tanaka. Tanaka's "DAMARE, AHO!" will ring in my ears for days.

*dons slick, teacher's outfit*
The hardest thing about translating this episode is the... I guess you can call it "wordplay". It's not really wordplay so much as it is ambiguity and irony. As some of you may know, the verb "yaru" means to do. On top of that, "yaru" (殺る) is like the Mafia-esque way of saying to "bump someone", to "rub someone out", to "do someone in". You get the deal. It is basically a slang way of saying "to kill". You can hear the passive form of the verb "yaru", "yarareru", in here several times. We're lead to believe, given the context of Kill Bill, that the "yaru" they are using is referring to "killing". However, we later learn that is not the case.

*removes teacher's outfit and makes a quick change into a theater-attendant outfit*

Without further adieu, please enjoy this parody!




*dons nerd glasses, suspenders and breathes heavily*
You may not have noticed, but there's a plot hole in this video. During the yard fight scene, it's implied that "Uma" has a broom made by the legendary blacksmith Hanzo Hattori, and "O-Ren" doesn't know until then. That plotline was feasible in the real movie "Kill Bill" as Uma has her sword crafted, but it's not here. Why, you ask? Because the broom is in "O-Ren"'s house! It's sitting in the corner next to the door, and "Uma" picks it up after entering. HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THAT A LEGENDARY BROOM IS SITTING IN THE CORNER OF YOUR HOUSE?!

Tanaka, reaching for the broom in the corner.
Also, admire my Paint arrow-drawing skillz.

I usually post some sort of "conversation-starter" related to the video at the end of these to sponsor interaction, but I've been so busy that my brain is now fried, and I can't think of one. Doesn't matter. Much conversation doesn't happen at the end of these things anyways. Feel free to have some convo and get to know your fellow readers if you'd like.

See you later.

*climbs back under pile of work, papers, and costumes, possibly never to be seen for a while*
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The Bondage Angels!

Ah, espionage. What a beautiful word.

Ever since there's been great amounts of mistrust between countries, there's been spies. The most ever since there's been Hollywood to exploit concepts, there's been the "Secret Agent". And since Hollywood found out the T&A sell, we've had vixens in skimpy outfits running around on our movies screens.

This week's BBB is from the Dream Match that happens pretty much every year. It's a competition/special where the hottest comedy groups switch and work with different people. It's kinda similar to the All-Star basketball game, for people here in the States. You get to see all the big stars all playing on the same court, some working together, some against each other.

In this episode of the Dream Match, the comedy groups were broken into Boke and Tsukkomi teams. The all-female group, Harisenbon (which means "puffer fish"/"porcupine fish"/"balloon fish"/"whatever-the-hell-you-call-it-in-your-area fish"), doesn't have strongly designated Boke or Tsukkomi, so they were placed as a group on the Tsukkomi team. Most times it is Haruna, the chubby one, playing the role of tsukkomi and Haruka, the skinny one, as the boke. This mean that whoever was selected to team with them would be part of the Dream Match's first ever trio. Teams for that year were formed "Feeling Couple" style, meaning that everybody chose one person from the other team that they wanted to work with, and if they felt the same way back, you're a new team. Harisenbon and Ryou Tamura coupled up pretty quickly to bring you this BBB!





I was kinda sad that they didn't win that year's competition. Most of the other acts were pretty "meh...". But in things like this, if you don't really put on a much better performance than the veteran performers, they give the prize to them.

You guys may remember Harisenbon for their role as the two hospital patrons in the Hospital Batsu game. Haruka, the skinny one, and Haruna, the chubby one, play all sorts of games with the Gaki Nurses since they decided to enter their room as they pleased.


I must say, that I loves me some Harisenbon. They are just so awkward looking that you know they are funny beyond all belief. If Japanese students are anywhere as mean as they can be here, you need a good sense of humor to come out with your head held high sometimes. The photo below shows pretty much why I love them so much. Despite their little gut and their crooked teeth, Harisenbon isn't afraid to get out there and show themselves off. Haruna, the chubby one, even proudly proclaims that she's a virgin because she's just too fat to get laid. I mean she's not THAT bad-looking. *shrug* It's okay. She's only 26. Maybe she's waiting. I dunno, but I'd hit either one of those two. *pushes male instincts back under the bed* Ahem, sorry about that.


It's come to my attention recently that Haruka, the member of Harisenbon on the right, had been diagnosed with tuberculosis in April. She was forced into the hospital where she was supposed to stay for two months. I haven't heard anything about them after that. Here's hoping they are both okay, since it can spread with repeated, close contact which I assume they have being comedy partners and all.


Haruna, you should know better than to take a picture of you about to eat ice cream. c.c
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The Friendly Being 1 and 3

Hello, again.

It is time once again for your BBB. Yes, BBB on a Saturday. I wanted to put them up on Wednesday like usual, but YouTube was performing maintenance Wednesday and I could not upload videos. My Thursday and Friday were all booked, and I didn't have a chance to upload it then either if I wanted this little thing called "sleep". I went in to work on Friday on about an hour of sleep. I was pretty much a zombie.

So, houskeeping　as per usual.

• Cleaned up old comments on the General Request Post, and moved it up some to be more visible on the first page.
• Changed some post tags to properly spell Itao's name correctly: It's "Itsuji", not "Ittsuji". Sorry 'bout that.

Anyways, I'm just going to put the videos and let you enjoy them this week, since there shouldn't by much to talk about.




And if you haven't yet seen the second, it can be seen here.



I must say, that I love the little preview picture for this second video. XD
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The Friendly Being 2

Due to more technical difficulties, I was not able to get my release out of Sunday. I thought I'd solved my video splitting problem, but those videos don't work in my subtitler. So I'm either off to find a new video splitter capable of splitting all the files I have, or I'm off to find a new subtitling program.

Anyways, I've managed to get you this week's BBB. This skit involves Hamada playing a business man who frequents a certain hotel on his trips. In his first visit, he was introduced to a friendly spirit, played by Matsumoto, who loves to play games and have fun with guests.

This is their second encounter and Hamada makes it known that he doesn't mind the haunted room.

I personally love moments like these shown in this clip. Sometimes Matsumoto's over-the-top personality even surprises Hamada, and they've been working together for years. The skits on Gottsu Ee Kanji are very special in that there's usually no completely solid script for the skits they do in studio. Usually someone starts laughing in an inappropriate place or someone gets hit. You can see that both Hamada and Matsumoto love toying with each other sometimes. Although they don't hang around each other in their spare time, they do seem to enjoy the time the spend working as a comedy team. You can't really ask for more than that.



And in what's becoming a usual around here: The BBB Topic of discussion! Um. . . Talk about your most memorable hotel experiences.

For me, it had to be my trip to Mexico when I was little. I was not used to geckos, but apparently they are pretty common in the Mexico. The outside of the hotel was covered in them. Okay, that was heavy exaggeration, but there were a few of them. Being foreigners, my family didn't really know about them, and freaked out whenever we saw one. The staff at the hotel, being Mexican natives, looked at us like we were wimpy idiots but tried to assure us that geckos were completely harmless and pose no threat. So we just figured we'd stay in our rooms when not sight-seeing, and we'd see as few geckos as possible. So the first night, after a long day of delayed flights and such, my father and I both laid down to go to sleep. The layout of the room should be fairly familiar: It's two beds with a nightstand in between with a lamp on it, all along a wall. Like this, with B being a bed and N being the nightstand:
____
B N B

My father and I both laid down facing the nightstand, and as soon as we did, we saw about 9 geckos clinging onto the back of the nightstand staring back at us. Needless to say that a 10-year old boy and a grown man have never shrieked so loudly in the history of Mexican tourism.
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Worldwide Downtown News: Whoopee Cushions

Ah, the whoopee cushion. Always good for a quick, tasteless, joke.

This BBB (which is late. Sorry. ) comes from Downtown's show "Worldwide Downtown Headline News". The concept is very simple: Get some foreigners, put cheesy Japanese voice-overs on them, and commence with the funny.

In the form of a news show, Hamada and Matsumoto appear as panelists and are subjected to the stereotypical members of the panel.

Gilles (French name, pronounced like "Jheel". I had a friend with that name. Let's just say I had a hard time guessing the pronunciation from his name tag in elementary school) Besson plays our host, and he's got a deep profoundness for being corny. He plays the stereotypical "Trying-too-hard" foreigner, trying to crack quick jokes and puns. Unlike most shows where this type of character is pushed to the back except the the odd occasion, Gilles is in the role of power, as he controls the flow of the show.

Ghorchyan and Natalia are foils of each other, with Ghorchan being the fairly grumpy, purely logical one and Natalia being the "Live is lovely!", ever-sunny one, who looks on the bright side.

Almost every show starts with Gilles introducing a video of some sort, which generally features something incredibly corny being made into something amazing. Afterwards, Gilles asks everyone's opinions, and Ghorchan and Natalia disagree. Then Gilles usually starts the funny with Hamada and Matsumoto.

What I love is the way that sometimes the corny voice-overs that they place over the actors are actually what they are saying. For example, if you keep an eye on Natalia, you can see it when she says "I'll think about it"(kangaetoku wa), "Hi, Gilles!"

In this case, the video introduces a coffee shop where the owner pranks his customers. If they react in what he thinks is a funny manner, get food for free. If he keeps that up, he'll be out of business soon.



I'm keeping it short this week for the summary, as I've got a meeting tomorrow that I need to prepare for. However, let's see. . . As I'm trying to foster discussion on the BBBs, let's get a discussion started about this one. Hrm. Share with the world the best practical joke you've seen played (preferably one you experienced first-hand in real life, and not "i saw this funny vid on youtube of (X)") or the funniest promotion you've seen a store have!

I went to a pet store once, and they were giving away tiny (and I mean tiny) sacks of catnip of April 20 (4/20) if you brought your cat dressed up in a reggae outfit. Kinda stereotypical to reggae and Jamaica in general, being labeled as pot-smokers, but you could see the cats look at each dressed up, humiliated, thinking "Hang in there, brother. When we rise up. . . Oh, when we rise up. . .". Almost needless to say, this pet store was run by your stereotypical pot smokers.

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Eating with Kouji-chan!

It's time once again for another BlackGaki Boredom Breaker! *clap clap clap*

This week, we have another quick one from Gottsu Ee Kanji. (I promise I'll do something other than Gottsu Ee Kanji next week. I have some stuff I want to do, but I haven't been motivated enough to rummage through all the video files to find them.)

This time, the loving family tries to feed the young Kouji, played by the aptly named Kouji Imada, with apples.

This whole skit shows you how much fun you can have with a hole in the floor.





The first woman, I have no clue　who she is. Perhaps an extra, even though an extra wasn't needed since Ryouko (the one in the red) didn't do anything. However, as for the rest of the line-up:

Grandma: YOU
Grandpa: Takahiro Kurano
Dad: Itsuji Itao
Other lady (in red): Ryouko Shinohara
Baby Kouji: Kouji Imada

EDITED 7/3 to add:　The woman in black is Yayoi Nishihata. She joins Gottsu Ee Kanji as a regular during later seasons.

Short and sweet indeed, but THAT'S CHILD ABUSE, ITAO!

In an effort to spark conversation around here... hrm... Spankings: Okay or not? If okay, how young is too young? Proceed with discussion.

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The Busukko Club!

Heysup, my fine, loyal, readers.

It's time for yet another BlackGaki Boredom Buster. This week, the players of Gottsu Ee Kanji take us into the apparently wild and comical world of prostitution. In Japan though, it's usually not a thing where you just go to a street corner in a less than desirable neighborhood. It's more like the things you see if you go to Las Vegas. There's fliers and cards with advertisements on it, and you call a number and they send a prostitute over to your house. If you're not happy with the prostitute's appearance, you can "change", which means you send the other prostitute back and they send you a different one.

In this skit, Hamada, gets the rare opportunity to call one of these services when his wife leaves town. The flier for which he happens to have the number for is for the "Busukko Club" which would translate to "The Ugly Girl Club", but I really wanted to translate it to the "Uggmo Club". I don't know how he managed to not see that when he called, or heard it when the operator picked up the phone. But when the girls actually get there, let's just say that Hamada wants change like Barack Obama buying one item at a $1 store with a $100 bill.




Sadly, I have to laugh at the sheer realism of the skit. I grew up in Portland, Oregon which for a long time had the bragging rights having the most strip clubs per capita. (Apparently small town in Virginia or something is trying to take the crown, or something. But as far as major metropolitan cities go, I think Portland's still got the title. Check this article out in the Portland Mercury newspaper, a fun newspaper to read if you're ever in the Portland area: Article. )

But let me tell you, quantity is DEFINITELY not quality. The general manhood ritual of going to a strip club when you turn of legal age can just be ruined by some of the things you see there. As some of you may know, strippers sometimes name themselves after precious stones, liquor, or luxury cars with names like "Diamond", "Champagne", or "Lexus". Some of the strippers in Portland should have retired LONG ago. They could have names like "Plymouth Rock" and "Model T". In an effort to keep a stable of dancer they pretty much just scrape the bottom of the barrel. Damn near literally. If you're over 18, check out the website for one of the clubs near where I used to live, look under Female Entertainers(link), and tell me that Midori doesn't look like a tranny and Talina just needs to retire outright. Seriously, one look at Midori... IT'S A TRAP!!!1!

Some of the clubs in the area, in an effort to distinguish themselves, occasionally host some sort of freakshow nights. My friend said they had conjoined twin strippers. That's... just... sad. Is one stripping and the other one's along for the ride? Were both of the girls together unable to muster up enough self-respect to refuse the offer? Do you have to tip in increments of $2? Which one holds the pole? That's something that I both do and don't want the honor of seeing first-hand.

See you guys on Sunday for another Gaki episode!
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Happy 6 Month Anniversary!

On December 15, I started this blog in my dorm room, to give myself something to do and something to say that I bring to "the table", as far as the Interwebz goes. Over the past 6 months, lots of visitors have come to this site and made this little blog a home. *minor sentimental moment*

In celebration of having a 6-month anniversary without this place being shut down by the Feds -- *peeks out of curtains* -- I'd like to unveil a new segment around here! Like I wrote a while back, I'd like to put up some short videos from other Japanese comedies, with stress and emphasis being on "short". I think I'll try focusing on some of Downtown or Cocorico's other shows (Yamazaki doesn't have any other shows with the exception of the occasional pity appearance on Downtown's music and talk show "Downtown DX", probably due to his high concentration of FAIL per square inch) but my occasionally stray into the world of Japanese comedy at large and bring you some different acts.

Also, the usual updates: Done a lot of cleaning up on the Request Post, and mixed in some of the requests into the mix. Note that due to the long list of episodes that I really want to get to, your requests there may get pushed to the rear.

Also, I have added a new poll to the main page: "What's your favorite Recurring Series/Themes?" As you can see, it is MONSTER HUGE. You are allowed to select multiple answers for it, because otherwise I'm sure that there would be some that get no votes. I would say try to vote for 3-4? I guess. Whatever's clever. That poll closes at the end of July, so you've got a month and half. Unlike our first poll, I'm not planning some sort of special week for the winner. Also, I'm aware there's some series that I kinda left out. I just didn't want to add all of those things in there. o.o

Anyway, onwards, to the first-ever "BlackGaki Boredom Breaker"!


In our first installment of the "BlackGaki's Boredom Breaker" (BBB), we have some of Downtown's Gottsu Ee Kanji! In this short-- and yes, this is the whole skit -- piece, Kouji Higashino plays the part of the customer looking to buy a new pair of pants. The ever helpful sales clerk is played by You. No, not you! You! Seriously though, that's what she goes by, but it's usually in all-capitals, which we on the internet know means that you win at life, as "YOU". She's a singer, actress, and general entertainment jack-of-all-trades. You can do the wiki thing for more info here.

Before I start this though, I'd like to take a moment to say that I won't be subtitling the ever-popular 5 Ranger skit, as there's already subtitled videos out there. So with that said, hopefully I bring a little extra sunshine into your week! Enjoy!



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