The Busukko Club!

Heysup, my fine, loyal, readers.

It's time for yet another BlackGaki Boredom Buster. This week, the players of Gottsu Ee Kanji take us into the apparently wild and comical world of prostitution. In Japan though, it's usually not a thing where you just go to a street corner in a less than desirable neighborhood. It's more like the things you see if you go to Las Vegas. There's fliers and cards with advertisements on it, and you call a number and they send a prostitute over to your house. If you're not happy with the prostitute's appearance, you can "change", which means you send the other prostitute back and they send you a different one.

In this skit, Hamada, gets the rare opportunity to call one of these services when his wife leaves town. The flier for which he happens to have the number for is for the "Busukko Club" which would translate to "The Ugly Girl Club", but I really wanted to translate it to the "Uggmo Club". I don't know how he managed to not see that when he called, or heard it when the operator picked up the phone. But when the girls actually get there, let's just say that Hamada wants change like Barack Obama buying one item at a $1 store with a $100 bill.




Sadly, I have to laugh at the sheer realism of the skit. I grew up in Portland, Oregon which for a long time had the bragging rights having the most strip clubs per capita. (Apparently small town in Virginia or something is trying to take the crown, or something. But as far as major metropolitan cities go, I think Portland's still got the title. Check this article out in the Portland Mercury newspaper, a fun newspaper to read if you're ever in the Portland area: Article. )

But let me tell you, quantity is DEFINITELY not quality. The general manhood ritual of going to a strip club when you turn of legal age can just be ruined by some of the things you see there. As some of you may know, strippers sometimes name themselves after precious stones, liquor, or luxury cars with names like "Diamond", "Champagne", or "Lexus". Some of the strippers in Portland should have retired LONG ago. They could have names like "Plymouth Rock" and "Model T". In an effort to keep a stable of dancer they pretty much just scrape the bottom of the barrel. Damn near literally. If you're over 18, check out the website for one of the clubs near where I used to live, look under Female Entertainers(link), and tell me that Midori doesn't look like a tranny and Talina just needs to retire outright. Seriously, one look at Midori... IT'S A TRAP!!!1!

Some of the clubs in the area, in an effort to distinguish themselves, occasionally host some sort of freakshow nights. My friend said they had conjoined twin strippers. That's... just... sad. Is one stripping and the other one's along for the ride? Were both of the girls together unable to muster up enough self-respect to refuse the offer? Do you have to tip in increments of $2? Which one holds the pole? That's something that I both do and don't want the honor of seeing first-hand.

See you guys on Sunday for another Gaki episode!