Hello readers and fellow Gaki fans...
As you may have noticed, I have not put any new reviews up in about two weeks. That is because my computer with all my movies on it decided to blow up. So, I've decided to inform you on the status.
If you want to read a long, pitiful rant, feel free to click the "Read more..." link below. If not, just feel free browse around or hit the Back button in your browser or something like that.
The tale of my computer is an interesting one. I had a laptop during my first year here at college, and somehow the little headphone jack got broken. The computer would no longer would play sound at all, since it thought that the headphones were always plugged in, but the jack was broken so sound couldn't get to you if you plugged headphones in.
My aunt, who had just left her job of almost 20 years for a higher paying one, had more money than she essentially knew what to do with. She was now working for this new job with great pay, and her old job gave her a severance package, paying her for several years after she'd left.
Out the combined deepness of her heart and her pockets, we went online to Dell.com and picked out a nice, new, shiny laptop: the Dell XPS M1330. As my aunt wanted to spoil me, she decided that money was not an object and just started hitting the upgrade options left and right. One of those upgrades was an nVidia graphics card.
The catch, and general punchline to this story is that the graphics card has apparently had a glitch in it, that tends to cause the card to fry itself and sometimes the motherboard with it. That's what happened to me. So, I took my non-functional laptop to the library to do some research on what could be done. Apparently, this is a common issue for this model of laptop and graphics card, and usually happens fairly early into the life of the computer. I saw reports of people's computers biting the dust only 14 days after they got it. So, I think about contacting Dell to see what they can do about it, and having had my computer for about a year got me thinking, "Holy crap. This better be covered in my warranty."
Punchline number two: My warranty expired just two weeks before the thing tanked. I call Dell anyway, where I'm referred to the Out-of-Warranty service department. The person working the phones actually recognized the symptoms and said that I was "lucky" to have gone so long without that thing failing. Apparently, so lucky that I new have to pay to get it fixed. The lady on the phones told me that service was $199 dollars, and that covered everything, including plastics and keyboard should it be needed... And that should the motherboard or screen need to be replaced, that'll be another $299. So doing the math and taking into account that more than likely this video card has made my motherboard go kablooey, I'm out $500 dollars because all my stuff is on this laptop. I've sent it off to them, and they gave me the usual "7 to 10 business days! Enjoy disconnectivity, and I hope you backed up your files. :D" schtick, and I'm stick walking across campus in the snow (yes, it's still snowing here. -_- ) to use the library computers every few hours to check my e-mails, with no guarantee that the files that I'm really shelling out this money to keep are going to be there when this thing gets back to me.
So, the moral of this story is: If you buy a laptop, (not just a Dell or Windows PC, as this same card is screwing over Mac users too) get an external hard drive and save all your important things on there, just in case your laptop craps out and you have to explain to your blog readers why you ain't bringin' the funny. :(
Alright. Enough about me and my computer. I'll see you guys again soon, hopefully with a laptop full of Gaki videos that I'll be able to review and post here.
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Thursday, February 19, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
山崎邦正 七変化!!
(Yamazaki Housei Shichihenge)
Whoo… Sorry it’s been so long since my last post. Life has been getting in the way. Anyway, I think I will try to post things on a regular schedule. Right now, it’s looking like it will be Sunday nights. Well, I guess it’s early Monday mornings, as it’s about 1 am now.
The Shichihenge series is another legendary part of Gaki’s legacy. Shichihenge(七変化) translates roughly to “the Seven Shapeshifters” or “The Seven Apparitions”. The point of this game is fairly simple. The Gaki members, producers and general staff higher-ups have a planning meeting. Whoever’s turn it is to do the shichihenge-ing leaves the room and returns seven times, to try to make the people in the room laugh. Each time someone laughs at one of the gags, they have to pay a penalty fee of 1,000 yen (which ranges anywhere between USD $10-12, depending on the exchange rate) which is donated to charity. So, doing the math, since there are ten people in the room, with seven gags at a penalty fee of 1,000 yen, the maximum amount earnable is 70,000.
Today is Yamazaki’s turn to take on the Shichihenge. So far in the history of the show, I think there’s been three other shichihenges: Heipo, director Sakamoto, and producer Suga. If anyone out there can correct me on this, it would be greatly appreciated. I can’t find the dates or episodes for those three, so I don’t know for sure when they happened. None of them really did well, but they decided to let him go anyway.
Matsumoto starts out with by saying he wondered what would happen if he let Yamazaki do this. Yamazaki explains that he’s studied, thought about it carefully and come up with several gags to unleash on the crew. Let's take a look at how Yamazaki, who I generally don’t find funny, did.
Henge 1: Yamazaki walks into the room mostly naked, in what I think is supposed to be a play on the stereotypical mermaid outfit. He’s got shells over his nipples and only-God-knows on his crotch (Thank you, censors). He brings in a mirror to set down on the meeting table, so he can check himself out.
Who laughed?
Me: No.
Staff: No.
Henge 2: Yamazaki walks in carrying buckets of live fish, and wearing a stopwatch. He starts and stops his stopwatch a few times, then grabs a fish from the bucket and puts it in his armpit. The fish flops around and gets away, so he grabs the buckets and leaves. There was no mention of him picking that fish off of the ground (which will probably upset you more if you’re in PETA), but I’m pretty sure that one of the staff picked it up, as it isn’t there for the next henge.
Who laughed?
Me: No.
Staff: Heipo.
Henge 3: Yamazaki comes in wearing a burglar outfit, with a stocking over his head. For those of you who are familiar with Japanese comedy, you know that the stocking over the head is used fairly often as it just warps the wearer’s face into funny shapes. He faces everybody with his little toy knife, and nobody laughs so he leaves. He stops in the doorway on the way out and breaths heavily, which produces a Darth Vader-ish noise. This cracks Matsumoto and one of the directors.
Who laughed?
Me: No.
Staff: Matsumoto and some staff member who I can’t remember right now.
Henge 4: Okay. This one was kinda funny. Yamazaki comes in dressed as an office lady. He unzips his/her briefcase and starts typing away on a laptop. A cell phone call comes, which he answers with “Hello?... Hello?.. Oh… Georgia… Okay… Michael… Okay…” He cracks Matsumoto. This also cracked me, but for different reasons. One, if you watch enough Gaki, you’d know that Yamazaki touts himself as being good at English, but he’s only good at imitating things he hears. If you watch some of the “Yamazaki Produces” episodes of Gaki (which I guess I will do here eventually) you’ll see that he tries to write songs in English, but completely mangles grammar. Thus, when he speaks English as jokes and such, it’s usually small one or two word phrases, or longer phrases that they teach students in school like “Nice to meet you.”
Who laughed?
Me: Okay. Yeah, I did.
Staff: Matsumoto.
Henge 5: Yamazaki comes in dressed as a superhero. He cracks Hamada right off the bat, and then complains about it being cold, which then gets Matsumoto. He punches some staff with his big foam hands, then leaves.
Who laughed?
Me: No.
Staff: Hamada ,Matsumoto and that producer whos name I’ll figure out later.
Henge 6: Yamazake comes in “dressed” as a baby, carrying a baby doll. He puts the doll on the desk, and then stands on the desk two in the position that the doll is in. As you can see, this resulted in people sitting in the room seeing more of Yamazaki than they’d really care to. Nakedness though, really does get the job done when it comes down to making people laugh.
Who laughed?
Me: No.
Staff: No. (Although, I will say, that I would have ruled that Matsumoto laughed.)
Hrm… they stop there. Now I’m glad that I’m actually blogging this, as I’d never noticed this before. It looks as though either Yamazaki didn’t do a seventh or it was generally too stupid or too vulgar to be broadcast. That’s interesting. Maybe I could do some research and see what happened.
Anyway, the money was totaled, and Yamazaki earned a measly 7,000 yen for charity. That is a mere 10% of the maximum total possible. That score was the lowest score for a long time as far as shichihenge goes, and stayed as the low score for several years. It may still be the lowest score ever. That really must be a huge blow to the pride, when you call yourself a comedian or entertainer, and your score for making people laugh is being resoundingly beaten by the producers and directors on the show you work on. That’s why I gave this episode a 2-star rating. It was just lame. Okay, the talk wasn’t bad, but I hardly make it to the comedy talk on this episode because I usually turn it off during the shichihenge.
Read more!
Whoo… Sorry it’s been so long since my last post. Life has been getting in the way. Anyway, I think I will try to post things on a regular schedule. Right now, it’s looking like it will be Sunday nights. Well, I guess it’s early Monday mornings, as it’s about 1 am now.
The Shichihenge series is another legendary part of Gaki’s legacy. Shichihenge(七変化) translates roughly to “the Seven Shapeshifters” or “The Seven Apparitions”. The point of this game is fairly simple. The Gaki members, producers and general staff higher-ups have a planning meeting. Whoever’s turn it is to do the shichihenge-ing leaves the room and returns seven times, to try to make the people in the room laugh. Each time someone laughs at one of the gags, they have to pay a penalty fee of 1,000 yen (which ranges anywhere between USD $10-12, depending on the exchange rate) which is donated to charity. So, doing the math, since there are ten people in the room, with seven gags at a penalty fee of 1,000 yen, the maximum amount earnable is 70,000.
Today is Yamazaki’s turn to take on the Shichihenge. So far in the history of the show, I think there’s been three other shichihenges: Heipo, director Sakamoto, and producer Suga. If anyone out there can correct me on this, it would be greatly appreciated. I can’t find the dates or episodes for those three, so I don’t know for sure when they happened. None of them really did well, but they decided to let him go anyway.
Matsumoto starts out with by saying he wondered what would happen if he let Yamazaki do this. Yamazaki explains that he’s studied, thought about it carefully and come up with several gags to unleash on the crew. Let's take a look at how Yamazaki, who I generally don’t find funny, did.
Henge 1: Yamazaki walks into the room mostly naked, in what I think is supposed to be a play on the stereotypical mermaid outfit. He’s got shells over his nipples and only-God-knows on his crotch (Thank you, censors). He brings in a mirror to set down on the meeting table, so he can check himself out.
Who laughed?
Me: No.
Staff: No.
Henge 2: Yamazaki walks in carrying buckets of live fish, and wearing a stopwatch. He starts and stops his stopwatch a few times, then grabs a fish from the bucket and puts it in his armpit. The fish flops around and gets away, so he grabs the buckets and leaves. There was no mention of him picking that fish off of the ground (which will probably upset you more if you’re in PETA), but I’m pretty sure that one of the staff picked it up, as it isn’t there for the next henge.
Who laughed?
Me: No.
Staff: Heipo.
Henge 3: Yamazaki comes in wearing a burglar outfit, with a stocking over his head. For those of you who are familiar with Japanese comedy, you know that the stocking over the head is used fairly often as it just warps the wearer’s face into funny shapes. He faces everybody with his little toy knife, and nobody laughs so he leaves. He stops in the doorway on the way out and breaths heavily, which produces a Darth Vader-ish noise. This cracks Matsumoto and one of the directors.
Who laughed?
Me: No.
Staff: Matsumoto and some staff member who I can’t remember right now.
Henge 4: Okay. This one was kinda funny. Yamazaki comes in dressed as an office lady. He unzips his/her briefcase and starts typing away on a laptop. A cell phone call comes, which he answers with “Hello?... Hello?.. Oh… Georgia… Okay… Michael… Okay…” He cracks Matsumoto. This also cracked me, but for different reasons. One, if you watch enough Gaki, you’d know that Yamazaki touts himself as being good at English, but he’s only good at imitating things he hears. If you watch some of the “Yamazaki Produces” episodes of Gaki (which I guess I will do here eventually) you’ll see that he tries to write songs in English, but completely mangles grammar. Thus, when he speaks English as jokes and such, it’s usually small one or two word phrases, or longer phrases that they teach students in school like “Nice to meet you.”
Who laughed?
Me: Okay. Yeah, I did.
Staff: Matsumoto.
Henge 5: Yamazaki comes in dressed as a superhero. He cracks Hamada right off the bat, and then complains about it being cold, which then gets Matsumoto. He punches some staff with his big foam hands, then leaves.
Who laughed?
Me: No.
Staff: Hamada ,Matsumoto and that producer whos name I’ll figure out later.
Henge 6: Yamazake comes in “dressed” as a baby, carrying a baby doll. He puts the doll on the desk, and then stands on the desk two in the position that the doll is in. As you can see, this resulted in people sitting in the room seeing more of Yamazaki than they’d really care to. Nakedness though, really does get the job done when it comes down to making people laugh.
Who laughed?
Me: No.
Staff: No. (Although, I will say, that I would have ruled that Matsumoto laughed.)
Hrm… they stop there. Now I’m glad that I’m actually blogging this, as I’d never noticed this before. It looks as though either Yamazaki didn’t do a seventh or it was generally too stupid or too vulgar to be broadcast. That’s interesting. Maybe I could do some research and see what happened.
Anyway, the money was totaled, and Yamazaki earned a measly 7,000 yen for charity. That is a mere 10% of the maximum total possible. That score was the lowest score for a long time as far as shichihenge goes, and stayed as the low score for several years. It may still be the lowest score ever. That really must be a huge blow to the pride, when you call yourself a comedian or entertainer, and your score for making people laugh is being resoundingly beaten by the producers and directors on the show you work on. That’s why I gave this episode a 2-star rating. It was just lame. Okay, the talk wasn’t bad, but I hardly make it to the comedy talk on this episode because I usually turn it off during the shichihenge.
Read more!
Saturday, January 17, 2009
レベンジマッチ:山崎vs.Moriman Part 3
(Revenge match: Yamazaki vs. Moriman part 3)
After getting his ass handed to him on a platter in the previous two matches, Downtown revises the format of the match to include more than the pants removing match, in hopes that it would give Yamazaki the chance to get his revenge. Also, the newcomers to the show, Cocorico, serve as Yamazaki’s trainers. Feel free to squeal at the sight of a tracksuited Tanaka. Endo gets the responsibility to break the tension before the fight, and does so with great ease. He’ll get this responsibility for all of the Yamazaki vs. Moriman events after this, and it’s easy to see why. However, after this he’ll be doing this bit in briefs.
The first match is the “face stocking removal” match, in which both contestants try to remove the pantyhose placed over their opponent’s head. In doing so, their face will warp which means big laughs for the viewers. Unknown to the organizers of this event, Moriman wasn’t in it for the laughs, and winds up wrestling Yamazaki to the ground, climbing on his back and choking him. Yamazaki taps and loses the match.
After regaining his composure, Yamazaki is faced with the “slipper fight” match. The premise is simple: each person gets two slippers and attempts to beat the living hell out of their opponent. Moriman jumps out of her corner and begins the ass-beating. Yamazaki puts up a fight, but finds himself backed into a corner. He tries to circle to the center of the ring, but turns his back to Moriman and finds himself on the receiving end of a direct slipper hit to the face. Another victory for Moriman.
Yamazaki gets to choose the third match, and chooses the “Low kick” match. I don’t think he really thought through the idea that Moriman was going to be able to kick him.
The fourth match is the “super hot ankake” match, in which each person gets a pan full of hot ankake sauce to fling at their opponent. The first one to give up or is unable to continue loses. Okay, while it’s still funny, the “OH MAN IT’S HOT” myth was debunked a while ago. Japanese comedians seem to love doing thing with “hot” things because they get to do reaction bits. The most common hot thing is hot water. For example in some quiz shows, if you get an answer wrong, you get dropped into “hot” water, and the comedian runs around, says that it’s hot, and flops around, etc. In actuality, it’s a little warmer than room temperature, and poses no health risks at all.
Fifth match is the “wet towel” match, where several wet towels are placed in the ring. Rule is much like all the other ones. Use the towel, beat the snot out of your opponent, you win.
Much like times before Yamazaki gets pummeled while showing little to no resistance. I think I’ll give this episode a rating of 5 stars. Although the new battle themes were nice, all of the matches were fairly short. The commentary between and after rounds is what made the episode worth watching.
Read more!
After getting his ass handed to him on a platter in the previous two matches, Downtown revises the format of the match to include more than the pants removing match, in hopes that it would give Yamazaki the chance to get his revenge. Also, the newcomers to the show, Cocorico, serve as Yamazaki’s trainers. Feel free to squeal at the sight of a tracksuited Tanaka. Endo gets the responsibility to break the tension before the fight, and does so with great ease. He’ll get this responsibility for all of the Yamazaki vs. Moriman events after this, and it’s easy to see why. However, after this he’ll be doing this bit in briefs.
The first match is the “face stocking removal” match, in which both contestants try to remove the pantyhose placed over their opponent’s head. In doing so, their face will warp which means big laughs for the viewers. Unknown to the organizers of this event, Moriman wasn’t in it for the laughs, and winds up wrestling Yamazaki to the ground, climbing on his back and choking him. Yamazaki taps and loses the match.
After regaining his composure, Yamazaki is faced with the “slipper fight” match. The premise is simple: each person gets two slippers and attempts to beat the living hell out of their opponent. Moriman jumps out of her corner and begins the ass-beating. Yamazaki puts up a fight, but finds himself backed into a corner. He tries to circle to the center of the ring, but turns his back to Moriman and finds himself on the receiving end of a direct slipper hit to the face. Another victory for Moriman.
Behold the face of a man who has been beaten down with a slipper.
Yamazaki gets to choose the third match, and chooses the “Low kick” match. I don’t think he really thought through the idea that Moriman was going to be able to kick him.
The fourth match is the “super hot ankake” match, in which each person gets a pan full of hot ankake sauce to fling at their opponent. The first one to give up or is unable to continue loses. Okay, while it’s still funny, the “OH MAN IT’S HOT” myth was debunked a while ago. Japanese comedians seem to love doing thing with “hot” things because they get to do reaction bits. The most common hot thing is hot water. For example in some quiz shows, if you get an answer wrong, you get dropped into “hot” water, and the comedian runs around, says that it’s hot, and flops around, etc. In actuality, it’s a little warmer than room temperature, and poses no health risks at all.
Fifth match is the “wet towel” match, where several wet towels are placed in the ring. Rule is much like all the other ones. Use the towel, beat the snot out of your opponent, you win.
Much like times before Yamazaki gets pummeled while showing little to no resistance. I think I’ll give this episode a rating of 5 stars. Although the new battle themes were nice, all of the matches were fairly short. The commentary between and after rounds is what made the episode worth watching.
Read more!
Monday, January 12, 2009
山崎邦正ケツリベンジ: KETSU-1グランプリ!! (Yamazaki vs Moriman Part 2)
(Yamazaki Housei Ass revenge: Ass-1 Grand Prix)
Original Airdate: 12/29/1996
As the title suggests, today is Yamazaki’s chance to get revenge on Moriman because he got steamrolled by Moriman. First he starts by making excuses, about his ribs, and that there’s something keeping him from performing at his very best. Matsumoto just wants to clear the air, and make sure that he’s not wimping out. When he asks if Yamazaki wants to quit, Yamazaki answers “…if I can…” for which Matsumoto, like I would, smacks him across the face.
Unlike the previous time, Yamazaki opts out of the sparring matches against groups, and shows off his sparring partner. His sparring partner, Heipo, works on the show, and is generally known for three points: He’s easily scared, he’s got no luck with the ladies, and he’s generally a pervert. Yamazaki squares off against this pervert. Then after the first match, Hamada reminds Yamazaki that Moriman usually manages to get him in a defensive position and that he has to be able to guard, so the second sparring match starts with Heipo on top of the grounded Yamazaki. Pimp slaps ensue. Matsumoto suggests that they should change the line-up to Moriman vs. Heipo.
The show then breaks for a Downtown comedy talk, in which they talk about things ranging from Yamazaki’s work as a singer to the sound of rain in the building to the Tamagocchi (you know, those little virtual pets that all us kids, including myself, had in fourth grade) craze. I was thinking of subtitling some of these talks because they’re a big part of the show, and sometimes they’re things you can’t laugh at by visual cues alone unlike most of the other openers. So, uh… if anyone knows any programs, or generally what you’d use to subtitle videos, dropping me a line in the Comments section would be appreciated.
After the comedy talk, we’re ready for the revenge match. It starts with challenger Yamazaki’s entrance to “Eye of the Tiger”, then champion Moriman’s entrance to “We Will Rock You” and rocks Yamazaki with slaps to the face before the match even starts. Yamazaki’s forced to wimp out yelling “Owowowow!” Once the dust settles, both fighters are presented with flower bouquets from foreign women (showing Gaki’s, or perhaps all of Japan’s, concept that “it’s funny because they’re foreign” which we’ll see many times throughout Gaki’s history) and then they are ready to battle. Note: as you watch this video, please be prepared for Matsumoto’s infectious hyena-laugh at about 15 seconds.
Hamada pretty much summed it all up with the “何ソレ?” (nani sore?) meaning “What was that?” The story of Yamazaki’s life, eh? I’ve cataloged this episode as a 4-star episode, but I’d like to bump it up to a five. It’s building up to a legend. I probably marked a 4 because I think this was the first of the “Yamazaki vs. Moriman” episodes I’d ever seen and didn’t know that it was going to a part of something so huge. It lacks the polish and general hilarity over that most of the other episodes have, being so short, but it’s still able to hold its own.
Read more!
Original Airdate: 12/29/1996
As the title suggests, today is Yamazaki’s chance to get revenge on Moriman because he got steamrolled by Moriman. First he starts by making excuses, about his ribs, and that there’s something keeping him from performing at his very best. Matsumoto just wants to clear the air, and make sure that he’s not wimping out. When he asks if Yamazaki wants to quit, Yamazaki answers “…if I can…” for which Matsumoto, like I would, smacks him across the face.
Unlike the previous time, Yamazaki opts out of the sparring matches against groups, and shows off his sparring partner. His sparring partner, Heipo, works on the show, and is generally known for three points: He’s easily scared, he’s got no luck with the ladies, and he’s generally a pervert. Yamazaki squares off against this pervert. Then after the first match, Hamada reminds Yamazaki that Moriman usually manages to get him in a defensive position and that he has to be able to guard, so the second sparring match starts with Heipo on top of the grounded Yamazaki. Pimp slaps ensue. Matsumoto suggests that they should change the line-up to Moriman vs. Heipo.
After the comedy talk, we’re ready for the revenge match. It starts with challenger Yamazaki’s entrance to “Eye of the Tiger”, then champion Moriman’s entrance to “We Will Rock You” and rocks Yamazaki with slaps to the face before the match even starts. Yamazaki’s forced to wimp out yelling “Owowowow!” Once the dust settles, both fighters are presented with flower bouquets from foreign women (showing Gaki’s, or perhaps all of Japan’s, concept that “it’s funny because they’re foreign” which we’ll see many times throughout Gaki’s history) and then they are ready to battle. Note: as you watch this video, please be prepared for Matsumoto’s infectious hyena-laugh at about 15 seconds.
Hamada pretty much summed it all up with the “何ソレ?” (nani sore?) meaning “What was that?” The story of Yamazaki’s life, eh? I’ve cataloged this episode as a 4-star episode, but I’d like to bump it up to a five. It’s building up to a legend. I probably marked a 4 because I think this was the first of the “Yamazaki vs. Moriman” episodes I’d ever seen and didn’t know that it was going to a part of something so huge. It lacks the polish and general hilarity over that most of the other episodes have, being so short, but it’s still able to hold its own.
Read more!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
山崎ケツ公開スパーリング （Yamazaki Vs Moriman Part 1)
Original Airdate: 11/03/1996
Yamazaki Housei ketsu koukai sparring. Yamazaki vs. Moriman 1
This episode is a classic that will start what will go down in history, at least in my book, as a legendary series on Gaki no Tsukai. Yamazaki, who recently joined as a regular on the show still has to prove himself to Downtown, and therefore has decided to show that the entertainment world is all about kicking ass and getting your ass kicked. On a side note, he does all this while wearing this schoolboy uniform.
Downtown didn't ask why he wore this, so neither will I.
Yamazaki has decided to warm up, and then have a match with the Champion. Myself, nor Matsumoto or Hamada know how a champion exists, but apparently there is one. The rules of the battle are simple: Pull off the opponent’s pants, leaving them to lie there bare-assed in shame. The first two matches are sparring matches in which Yamazaki faces a group of five opponents at once, and cannot remove his opponent’s pants. The point is to see just how long he can hold out against them. I think the main reason is to see Yamazaki get straight owned by 5 people at once.
The first match is against a squad of American Football players. The squad doesn't see to be professional, but hey, they're just there to tear the pants off of Yamazaki. It doesn't take a professional anything to do that.
A pitiful nine and a half seconds. I can't play a song on my violin sad enough to describe how sad that was, but then again, I've only been learning for about 3 months so I can't play much of anything.
Sparring match two is against the fearsome "おばさん軍団” or "Granny Squad". These here ain't your "give you fresh baked cookies" variety of grannies. These are the pants-pulling, ass-slappin' grannies that your friend told you stories about, but you never believed.
After strutting down to the ring, the grannies sized up the opposition. Yamazaki seemed to want to size up the granny in the gray blouse...
... but, uh... Yamazaki... that big grape looking thing behind you looks like she can crush you with her left boob alone... (which I secretly wish she did)
As is somewhat obvious if you know how weak Yamazaki is, he gets dragged to the ground and stripped. Left to lie in shame, with this ass flapping in the breeze.
After the warm-ups, it's time to take on the Champion, which no one knows who appointed as the Champion. The champion is Moriman. I guess technically that's wrong. Moriman is a duo made up of 種馬マン(Taneuma-man) and モリ末(Moriou), but Moriou is the one doing all the fighting. Taneumaman serves as the corner girl. Aaaaaanyway, the champion makes their way into the ring, and starts by sending a message of the hard slap to Yamazaki's face. This is where to the battle begins. Yamazaki can now try to take off his opponent's pants. It's on, show them what you can do, Yamazaki.
Not much, apparently, lol. Okay, well you have to give the man some credit. After taking that beating, he gets back up and is ready immediately for his rematch. You lost the battle, not the war. Get 'er done, Zaki.
Okay, so now you've lost the war. It's okay, Yamazaki. Unfortunately for you (yet fortunately for the rest of us), you'll be fighting Moriman again later.
I'm giving this episode 6 stars. As I said in my first post ever, there's very few things that make me even care about Yamazaki. One of those things is Yamazaki getting pummeled. This episode if chock full of it. This is episode sets up a series that will last for years on Gaki no Tsukai, and is truly a golden gem in th -- ... wait... a golden gem? Is that even possible? It must be late, I'm being nonsensical. Let me be brief then, and generally non-poetic. Yamazaki gets beatdown, and that makes me happy. Four stars!
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Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Gaki Messes with Waitresses
Original airdate: 8/17/1997
For my first review, I just randomly picked a video in my arsenal, and decided to highlight and review it. I think that for a first video, this was a good choice. The title for today's episode is "回して、回して、一万円！” which means "Spin 'em, spin 'em, 10,000 yen!" The concept came from an observation that Matsumoto made two weeks earlier during one of Downtown's comedy talks. He said that if you go to a coffee shop, the waitress will come over and help you. However, if you say "Excuse me" as they are walking away, they pivot on the balls of their feet in place to come back. Today's episode was planned to shed some light on whether this is true or not.
In the opening, Yamazaki serves as the organizer for this little experiment and explains that it will be done in game form. The show has hidden cameras in two coffee shops. Cocorico and Downtown are to split into pairs chosen by pulling on rope ends. Each pair will try to get their waitresses to spin in place as much as they can in 20 minutes by only saying "Excuse me." Each time a waitress spins in place, 10,000 yen is added to the pot. After time is up, the team that made their waitress spin the most gets the whole pot.
The first team is the Hamada-Tanaka team. They get off to a rough start, not even getting one spin in place. However, if the game were to scare the living bajeebus out of the waitress, Hamada did just that. Note the "Holy crap, it's a gorilla!" look on the waitresses face whenever she sees him.
After about 12 minutes in, Tanaka and Hamada change seats, and Hamada lets Tanaka do the calling. Tanaka manages to get 3 points for the team in a row. (*throws on Tanaka Fan Club T-shirt and cheers wildly*) After they realize they are about 18 minutes in, they decide to ditch the premise of the game and dig into their food. Yamazaki, Endo and Matsumoto who are watching from a separate location don't find it interesting to watch them sit there and chow down, so they send Yamazaki to bring them back. Yamazaki rushes in and smacks Hamada hard on the back of the head.
Some of you may not know this, but disrespecting a senior (whether it be by age or by experience) is taken pretty seriously in Japanese society. Getting whacked on the back of the head by his inferior set Hamada off and he handles the matter gangsta-style. Yamazaki backs down and apologizes like a little beyotch. So, in total Hamada-Tanaka team scores 3 points.
After Hamada schools Yamazaki, it's Matsumoto-Endo team's turn to try. They do horribly to start. The waitress tended to finish what she was doing before the Matsumoto's timing is laughably horrible, as he starts asking the waitress to turn around while she's still at the table. So they have to resort to making the waitress show things from their display cabinets and repeated asking for things put back and to see other things. In a frenzy of failed spin attempts, Endo just resorts to calling the waitress over, and then having Matsumoto call, then alternating between the two of them. Even that doesn't work. So in their last few seconds, Matsumoto just shifts into manual and spins her with his hands.
Yamazaki stretches his rulings for the Matsumoto-Endo team based on pity, and the score winds up being tied 3-3. But since the rulings were less stretched, he awards the Hamada-Tanaka team with the win! *throws parade*
Talk-
Most episodes of Gaki no Tsukai have a talk portion, which is basically the comedic stylings of Downtown. It usually consists of a bin full of postcards being wheeled on stage and Hamada reading off questions to Matsumoto, but sometimes Matsumoto comes in with things that he'd like to discuss. If I had the time, I'd probably subtitle videos because it I think it would be really worth it. But I'll just provide some translation on some of the funnier parts here to save room. (This post is already big o.o)
During the talk, the first post card that was pulled said "When the rain suddenly stops, the umbrella you are no longer using gets in the way. Please show me a cool way to hold it when that happens." Matsumoto explains that an umbrella is only an umbrella after it's opened. Otherwise it's in its "pre-umbrella" stage. Therefore the way to hold an umbrella is to hold it opened. Matsumoto strutting around the stage in "Singing in the Rain" fashion then followed.
In proving how not cool that is, they did a test-run and showed that you'd hit everyone walking down the street. Matsumoto's rebuttal: "Well it would be okay if everyone had theirs open. You open yours." Then the battle of "You open yours!" vs. "No, just close yours!" began. Things like this are a very small piece of the magic of this show.
The last part of the episode was one that I almost forgot about completely. While taking a photo the week before, the video cameras picked up a voice saying "...downtown..." when the camera shutters closed. Scary, I can somewhat hear it too. o.O
Rating- Overall, I gave this episode 5-stars. If you haven't seen it, please refer to my rating guide.
The concept was original and fairly interesting to me, having worked in fast food during high school and early college. It really goes to show the determination of the Japanese workforce. They either weren't phased by being called back to the table every 10 seconds or they did a great job of hiding it. I know I would have been annoyed.
Yamazaki getting manhandled will pretty much give any episode at least a 4-star rating, but the talk alone is a good one. Rewatching this made me realize how unaccustomed I am to seeing Matsumoto with hair. XD
Read more!
For my first review, I just randomly picked a video in my arsenal, and decided to highlight and review it. I think that for a first video, this was a good choice. The title for today's episode is "回して、回して、一万円！” which means "Spin 'em, spin 'em, 10,000 yen!" The concept came from an observation that Matsumoto made two weeks earlier during one of Downtown's comedy talks. He said that if you go to a coffee shop, the waitress will come over and help you. However, if you say "Excuse me" as they are walking away, they pivot on the balls of their feet in place to come back. Today's episode was planned to shed some light on whether this is true or not.
In the opening, Yamazaki serves as the organizer for this little experiment and explains that it will be done in game form. The show has hidden cameras in two coffee shops. Cocorico and Downtown are to split into pairs chosen by pulling on rope ends. Each pair will try to get their waitresses to spin in place as much as they can in 20 minutes by only saying "Excuse me." Each time a waitress spins in place, 10,000 yen is added to the pot. After time is up, the team that made their waitress spin the most gets the whole pot.
The first team is the Hamada-Tanaka team. They get off to a rough start, not even getting one spin in place. However, if the game were to scare the living bajeebus out of the waitress, Hamada did just that. Note the "Holy crap, it's a gorilla!" look on the waitresses face whenever she sees him.
After about 12 minutes in, Tanaka and Hamada change seats, and Hamada lets Tanaka do the calling. Tanaka manages to get 3 points for the team in a row. (*throws on Tanaka Fan Club T-shirt and cheers wildly*) After they realize they are about 18 minutes in, they decide to ditch the premise of the game and dig into their food. Yamazaki, Endo and Matsumoto who are watching from a separate location don't find it interesting to watch them sit there and chow down, so they send Yamazaki to bring them back. Yamazaki rushes in and smacks Hamada hard on the back of the head.
Some of you may not know this, but disrespecting a senior (whether it be by age or by experience) is taken pretty seriously in Japanese society. Getting whacked on the back of the head by his inferior set Hamada off and he handles the matter gangsta-style. Yamazaki backs down and apologizes like a little beyotch. So, in total Hamada-Tanaka team scores 3 points.
After Hamada schools Yamazaki, it's Matsumoto-Endo team's turn to try. They do horribly to start. The waitress tended to finish what she was doing before the Matsumoto's timing is laughably horrible, as he starts asking the waitress to turn around while she's still at the table. So they have to resort to making the waitress show things from their display cabinets and repeated asking for things put back and to see other things. In a frenzy of failed spin attempts, Endo just resorts to calling the waitress over, and then having Matsumoto call, then alternating between the two of them. Even that doesn't work. So in their last few seconds, Matsumoto just shifts into manual and spins her with his hands.
Yamazaki stretches his rulings for the Matsumoto-Endo team based on pity, and the score winds up being tied 3-3. But since the rulings were less stretched, he awards the Hamada-Tanaka team with the win! *throws parade*
Talk-
Most episodes of Gaki no Tsukai have a talk portion, which is basically the comedic stylings of Downtown. It usually consists of a bin full of postcards being wheeled on stage and Hamada reading off questions to Matsumoto, but sometimes Matsumoto comes in with things that he'd like to discuss. If I had the time, I'd probably subtitle videos because it I think it would be really worth it. But I'll just provide some translation on some of the funnier parts here to save room. (This post is already big o.o)
During the talk, the first post card that was pulled said "When the rain suddenly stops, the umbrella you are no longer using gets in the way. Please show me a cool way to hold it when that happens." Matsumoto explains that an umbrella is only an umbrella after it's opened. Otherwise it's in its "pre-umbrella" stage. Therefore the way to hold an umbrella is to hold it opened. Matsumoto strutting around the stage in "Singing in the Rain" fashion then followed.
In proving how not cool that is, they did a test-run and showed that you'd hit everyone walking down the street. Matsumoto's rebuttal: "Well it would be okay if everyone had theirs open. You open yours." Then the battle of "You open yours!" vs. "No, just close yours!" began. Things like this are a very small piece of the magic of this show.
The last part of the episode was one that I almost forgot about completely. While taking a photo the week before, the video cameras picked up a voice saying "...downtown..." when the camera shutters closed. Scary, I can somewhat hear it too. o.O
Rating- Overall, I gave this episode 5-stars. If you haven't seen it, please refer to my rating guide.
The concept was original and fairly interesting to me, having worked in fast food during high school and early college. It really goes to show the determination of the Japanese workforce. They either weren't phased by being called back to the table every 10 seconds or they did a great job of hiding it. I know I would have been annoyed.
Yamazaki getting manhandled will pretty much give any episode at least a 4-star rating, but the talk alone is a good one. Rewatching this made me realize how unaccustomed I am to seeing Matsumoto with hair. XD
Read more!
My Ranking System
As I went through (and still am) going through my horde of Gaki episodes, I decided to through them all in a spreadsheet, and give a brief description of the episode and a rating for the episode as a whole.
After talking to some of my friends about my cataloging efforts, I realized that my rating system makes NO SENSE, at least to them. My scale is from 1 to 10 stars, with 1 being the worst rating. Normal people would then s However, as to not confuse you, the reader, I shall explain with a rubric.
1 star - A video rated with a one will be incredibly rare, especially for a show like Gaki no Tsukai. A one-star video is physically painful to watch, has no entertainment value and would generally make me want to assassinate whoever made the show.
2-4 star - A two-star video is fairly boring. It's nothing more than a waste of a few minutes. It's one of those things makes you wonder if your time was better spent. A four-star video is fairly entertaining, but still could use some improvement or generally did not quite meet up to the potential of the premise for the show.
5-7 star - These are the good videos. A five-star show will have you laughing and/or make you think the whole way through. The premise is well thought out, and executed well. Seven-star videos are rolling on the floor hilarious, and are generally what dreams are made of. It's what people would describe as "excellent."
So at this point, you may be thinking "Wait... Seven-stars is excellent? What about the other three levels above that? Shouldn't 'excellent' be about a 9 or so?" Not to me. In essence, my scale runs from 1 to 7, with anything above that going somewhere into the "epic" and "ZomgThatWasJustTooAmazing.WhyHasn'tMyHeadExplodedYet?" territory. Hopefully now that makes some sense to you. It'll start making more sense once I actually start reviewing videos, hopefully. Just thought I'd straighten that out beforehand. Episode reviews on the way!
Read more!
After talking to some of my friends about my cataloging efforts, I realized that my rating system makes NO SENSE, at least to them. My scale is from 1 to 10 stars, with 1 being the worst rating. Normal people would then s However, as to not confuse you, the reader, I shall explain with a rubric.
1 star - A video rated with a one will be incredibly rare, especially for a show like Gaki no Tsukai. A one-star video is physically painful to watch, has no entertainment value and would generally make me want to assassinate whoever made the show.
2-4 star - A two-star video is fairly boring. It's nothing more than a waste of a few minutes. It's one of those things makes you wonder if your time was better spent. A four-star video is fairly entertaining, but still could use some improvement or generally did not quite meet up to the potential of the premise for the show.
5-7 star - These are the good videos. A five-star show will have you laughing and/or make you think the whole way through. The premise is well thought out, and executed well. Seven-star videos are rolling on the floor hilarious, and are generally what dreams are made of. It's what people would describe as "excellent."
So at this point, you may be thinking "Wait... Seven-stars is excellent? What about the other three levels above that? Shouldn't 'excellent' be about a 9 or so?" Not to me. In essence, my scale runs from 1 to 7, with anything above that going somewhere into the "epic" and "ZomgThatWasJustTooAmazing.WhyHasn'tMyHeadExplodedYet?" territory. Hopefully now that makes some sense to you. It'll start making more sense once I actually start reviewing videos, hopefully. Just thought I'd straighten that out beforehand. Episode reviews on the way!
Read more!
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