Monday, February 22, 2010

A Salute to Itao's Wife!!!

(I meant to save this for some episode featuring Itao's Wife, but as there's been a lot of Itao here already and I haven't even had a moment to even start anything, I thought I'd just go ahead and throw this out there for your enjoyment and perusal. Please enjoy.)


In comedy as a whole, lots of famous comedians have a running gag. Comedian Itsuji Itao's running gag, at least for the purpose of his appearances on Gaki no Tsukai is his "wife". Almost every time he appears on the show he has a different wife that appears to not be a native Japanese, and usually a different child. This usually sends the entire crew into giggles.

However, it's rare that a running gag has it's own running gag. In this case, Itao's Wife has a weapon that has been passed down from generation to generation of Wife. That weapon is the "もちろんそうよ!!!" bomb, which is essentially the trademark of being Itao's Wife. It's just not an Itao Wife without it.

However, there is more than one face that has helped add gems on the legacy that is "Itao's Wife-dom". Today, I would like to pay homage to these brave women, and serve as a historian of sorts.


Itsuji Itao has worked with Downtown on several comedy shows in the past but has gained a lot of popularity for his appearances in Gaki no Tsukai where he tries to weasel money out of Downtown and/or Nihon TV. The concept of "Itao's Wife" comes from a joke that Itao once made with Downtown, saying that he got paid so well when he did an appearance on one of their shows that he should bring his wife and have her perform so they could get double the money. While none of them are Itao's real wife, who doesn't want much attention, the common speculation is that Itao finds them from talent agencies or picks them out on the street. As the joke has progressed, the wives started to take a trend towards foreigners. If there's one thing we know thus far about Japanese comedy, it is that "Foreigner = Instant funny". This is compounded by the fact that the Wife only repeated the same phrase over and over again.

Over the course of a years, these women helped build the long-lasting legacy that is Itao's Wife:

Wife One: (a.k.a.: Kazumi (和実))

Debut date: July 18, 1999
Last appearance: June 11, 2000

Other repeat phrases: (None, really)

Notable Distinctions:
  • She was the first.

  • Made several appearances on Gaki as a standalone character.

  • Has overlap with successor.

In the beginning, there was a car crash. This is the first time that the Gaki members meet with the fictional Wife. They had recently gone to Itao's wedding, and noticed that the "wife" getting out of the car was most definitely a different person.

Not much is known about "Kazumi" as she was the first wife, and most people didn't care enough about the joke at that point to pay her much attention. She is the most "asian-looking" of Itao's wives, but it is not clear whether she is a native Japanese or an immigrant. One might assume that she is a native Japanese because she was given Japanese name, but this assumption may be false as we will see later, as some of the obviously foreign wives also have Japanese names assigned to them.

This wife makes not only makes appearances in an Itao-centered episodes, but comes on the show again to help with other episodes like the "High-Tension" episodes as somewhat of a decoration. She just stands by the entrance door. Nothing really there to note. She does clap from time to time.

One of the earlier wife-focused episodes involves a series of acting challenges, where Itao and Wife came and challenge the Gaki members to act out scenes from famous movies. One scene is from a famous seventies movie where the main protagonist is shot. The acting scene was supposed to feature a fake gun, but was actually a "real" one. This mistake on the part of the crew would "kill" Itao's Wife (again). But she's okay, because she comes back for more episodes.

What makes Kazumi-1 so odd is that she has overlap with Itao's second Wife. Kazumi-1's last appearance on Gaki is about six months AFTER the debut of Kazumi-2. However, Hamada seems to be the only one that notices that the wife isn't the same, when they make the initial switch and only makes a passing comment that the others didn't seem to hear.


Wife Two: (also a.k.a. Kazumi)


Debut date: December 26, 1999
Last appearance: September 15, 2002

Other repeat phrases:
  • さすがにだめよ! ("Truly, that's no good")

Notable Distinctions:
  • Again, overlaps her successor.

  • Loses her face concealment after a few episodes.

  • Has a more developed personal story with Itao.


The second Kazumi is Itao's second show wife. It's believed that she's from Brazil because Itao made statements to that in the show. There is some evidence to confirm this, but it's usually taken as fact due to Itao's forthrightness about his wives and their history (with exception to the fact that they aren't really his wife).

She makes her appearance on Gaki No Tsukai during a Year-end party, helping Itao make off with gifts that were meant to be be prizes for the Bingo games being held throughout the night. By this time, the Gaki members figured that they could trigger the wife to agree with them by trying to get her to speak since she only said "Of course". Itao being as clever as we all know he is, he taught her a counter phrase of "That's really no good". However, with his wife being as unable to understand what everyone is saying, she needed manual prodding to say it. This kinda ruined the gag, but he would try it again later on.

Itao's second wife is one of the few wives who starts out with her face blurred but eventually loses it in favor of her natural face.


Wife 2 in her first appearance, with face concealment.


Kazumi-2 has another distinction of having the most developed backstory with Itao. Besides the usual story of marrying Itao and bringing her kid along, Kazumi also has storyline angle in which she gets pregnant by Itao. Also their older daughter (Itao's stepdaughter) is a prodigy of sorts. This kind of development allowed Itao to give her more lines, but she winds up flubbing most of those anyway.

Also, much like the relationship between Kazumis 1 and 2, Kazumi 2's final appearance date is after the debut of wife 3. However, as I will explain, there might be a reason behind it.


Wife Three:


Debut date: October 28, 2001
Last appearance: October 28, 2001

Other repeat phrases:
  • 100度のお湯だよ ("It's 100 degree hot water!")

  • 毒針だよ ("It's a poisoned needle!")

  • 毒ヘビだよ ("It's a poisonous snake!")

Notable Distinctions:
  • One-hitter Quitter?

  • A complete accident?


Wife 3 hails from France and, other than that, very little is known about her. Her debut appearance is also her final appearance. She comes to assist Itao in proving to Gaki and Producer Suga that him battling with his wife would draw far higher ratings than the "Yamazaki vs Moriman" episodes that they do.

I have absolutely no solid facts as to the reason, but I would speculate that she was a last-minute replacement for Kazumi-2.

Reason 1: Kazumi-2 comes back later.

Reason 2: Eye concealment and hair color. Wife 3 has her eyes conceal behind the blur effect, which Kazumi-2 had removed. All other Wives have had the blur removed at some point, and most after this would never even opt for the blur. On the topic of hair color, you will notice that Wife 3 has blond hair. But if you notice the placards and posters made for the battle, you will see that the Wife has brown hair in them.

I assume that if Itao had known that she was going to be playing the role of his Wife for this episode, he would have had this fixed before the time came.

One thing that stands out if you listen to her given lines during the episode, she does have some understanding of Japanese, and it causes her to flub her given lines once or twice, as she substitutes words that are close, but incorrect. For example, during the "Hot Water Flinging Match", her given line is 100度のお湯だよ, meaning "This is 100 degree hot water". At first, she says 100度の水だよ, meaning "This is 100 degree water". When water is heated, the correct word for it becomes お湯, and I believe she realizes this about halfway through the first time she says it and starts over.

The one thing that is very odd is that I kinda miss her. She still stood out to me even though she only appeared for one episode. Luckily Itao's Fourth Wife has a made an impression that no one will ever forget.

Wife Four: ("Sherry")

Debut date: February 8, 2004
Last appearance: July 1, 2007

Other repeat phrases:
  • です!

  • その発想はなかったわ ("That's not the point"/"That's not the idea")

  • ひじき! (A type of seaweed)

Notable Distinctions:
  • Most popular!

  • Signature Dancing!

  • Batsu Game Appearances.

  • Appearances without Itao.


By far the most well-known of Itao's wives, the fourth wife is known as Sherry. Keep in mind, that I don't know if that's the way her name is spelled. Her name is spelled in katakana as シェリー, and that's the only indication I have to go on. So, her name could either be Sheri, Sherri, Sherry, the Cheri that sounds like the other three listed, or anything else for that matter.

Sherry is originally from India, and this fact is kept consistent with the storyline that Itao portrays to the Gaki no Tsukai members.
A young Sheri, in traditional Indian apparel


This fact results in several jokes involving her and usually naan (Indian-style bread). One such episode involves Itao informing everyone that due to the differences in laws between Japan and India, he and Sherry aren't technically married as far as Japan is concerned. So, Itao and Sherry invite the Gaki members to a wedding reception rehearsal where there are many of the "family members" are Indian. To appease his new "relatives", Itao does a bunch of stereotypical things like set out curry-flavored rice crackers on the tables for them to eat. As wedding entertainment, Itao manages to book the "Indian Version" of all Japan's hot stars. (They're really just Indians who look a lot like the celebrities.) It all winds down as they unveil the wedding "cake": a big pile of naan.


It is unknown just how long Sherry had been in Japan, but she seemed to have the most understanding of the Japanese language. This lead to an expansion of her vocabulary to counter some of the Gaki members. In the case of some other wives, the Gaki members figured out that anything what was obviously directed solely at the Wife would be responded to with the signature "Of course!" This had been abused by Matsumoto and Hamada, as they could get the Wife to contradict some of the reasons for Itao wanting money. Sherry started frequenting the line "That's not what is meant" when she thought it was a trap. Of course, her Japanese was still very limited, and she sometimes still fell for the traps or would use her counter line in the wrong situations.

The one thing which she is probably most famous for is her dancing. Sherry used to be a professional dancer, and you can see that her love of movement really shows. She tended to dance to Madonna during Gaki episodes, but was not limited to that. In the episode mentioned above, she breaks out in the middle of reading a loving letter to her parents and jams to "Crazy In Love" by Beyonce. It seems that Sherry will jam out to practically anything. She lists some of her favorite artists as Madonna, Michael Jackson, Phil Collins, Kazumasa Oda, Boney M., and Santana. This love of dance has been used by Itao and others, especially during the two Batsu games in which Sherry has appeared. Not only are her completely wholehearted attempts at sexy dancing funny, but she tends to add Indian dance elements which send the Gaki members into huge fits of laughter. To date, Sherry is the only Wife to appear in a Batsu game.

Over her three-year stint as Itao's Wife, Sherry's popularity really became something of its own. Sherry soon made appearances and did a few shows without Itao. She even got to host a radio show. Here's some pictures of Sherry at work! :D


I don't know if I still have it or not, but I think I remember hearing a radio clip of Sherry on show with other guest. While she wasn't a native speaker, and some things tended to go over her head, she knew enough Japanese to put a few good points and jokes forward. I probably seem to be obsessed with learning just how much Japanese these ladies know, huh?

In 2007, Itao came back to Gaki and gave an episode about Sherry's life (fictional, of course), then the aforementioned wedding episode and that would be the last episode in which Sherry was featured. She later stated that she had returned to India to take care of some personal matters. However, she has promised that she has not given up show business and will one day make her return to the stage, even if not with Itao.

For anyone who might want to keep up with Sherry, feel free to visit her blog and leave her a kind word of encouragement!


Wife Five:

Debut date: June 29, 2008
Last appearance: June 29, 2008
Other repeat phrases:
  • もうエロイことしか考えられへんわぁ ("I can't think of anything but dirty things!")

Notable Distinctions:
  • Another attempt at dancing!

  • Dialect! Whoo!


For Wife Five, Itao gets another catch from Europe, namely Sweden. I believe that her name is "Helen" or "Ellen" or something along those lines. She's been on some show before. I know it, but I just can't remember which one. When I do, I'll go verify the name. Wife Five helped Itao out when he was trying to sell his "Erection King" cream. Another dancer, Wife Five tried to pick up where Sherry left off. While she didn't dance in the solo way that Sherry did, she looks like she dances a lot. I mean first of all, she's wearing those odd, sheer pants. Definitely a fashion no-no. Second of all, she's got the well-built legs of a dancer or fitness instructor.

Probably to honor the memory of Sherry, Wife Five did not dance to Madonna, but to "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" by Cyndi Lauper. The dance doesn't have the same punch as Sherry's does, probably because Sherry's main point on the dance was to be sexy. Wive Five was more of an aerobics style. That's another point that makes me think she might be an exercise instructor.

While she's got very funny facial expression and such, she's overall very plain and a little disappointing and such. One thing that she has going for her though is the use of dialect in her speech. Her repeat line for this episode, もうエロイことしか考えられへんわぁ, is in Kansai dialect. I believe this is a first for the wives. I would assume that the wife knows just what she's saying, but it makes you wonder if she happens to be able to speak it naturally.


Wife Six:



Debut date: February 1, 2009
Last appearance: (still active)
Other repeat phrases:
  • 汗ばむわぁ! ("I'm dripping sweat!")

Notable Distinctions:
  • Spoke English.

  • Does not know where her mic is. -___-


Not too much is known about Wife Six yet. A lot of information about these wives surface after they leave Gaki and get work other places. As so, there's a lot of speculation as to the origins of Wife Six. In her most recent episode with Itao, she had to speak to Itao. She spoke back to him in English, leaving many to speculate that she is from a primarily English-speaking country. I personally don't believe it, just because of the awkwardness of it.

The situation in question involves Itao and Wife acting as bodyguards to the Gaki members using only blowdarts. In a routine communication check, Itao speaks into his receiver to verify signal with his wife, but she does not respond. Eventually, she comes through a door and Itao asks her if she could hear him. Wife responds with "I did not listen." I would assume that a native English speaker would say "I didn't hear you" or even "I was not listening".

In her two appearances so far as a "Wife", Wife Six has had some good moments. Especially in her first appearance during the "No Getting Excited Elementary School" episode, where Itao proposes a new format to the yearly Batsu game. We find out that she has a very wide mouth as she deep-throats a roll of makizushi in an attempt to "excite" the Gaki members. She then takes it over the top again as she's supposed to lead the students in a call after eating. She proceeds to do a porn-esque moan for about two minutes in extreme proximity to Matsumoto and Hamada. Very funny standout moments in the episode.

One thing that I noticed is the slight resemblance to Sherry a little bit. Is it just me? At some points she also kinda reminds me of Jennifer Lopez. Just me? Really? I know I'm on cold medicine but I can't be only person seeing it. <_<

One thing that she really needs to work on is her knowledge of microphone placement. The two great moments above required her to not need a microphone or operate a hand-held microphone. During many of her other jokes, she overacts and hits her microphone with her hand, making a big "BOOM BOOM WHIFFWHIFF" sound. This not only drowns out what she was saying, but it kinda ruins the feeling that the viewers are watching a private moment that wasn't meant for TV audiences. Why would she be wearing a microphone if this wasn't staged for us to hear? She wouldn't.


That's about the extent of the knowledge I have to report! I hope this has helped you feel more enlightened and perhaps piqued your interest in Itao's Wife. Plus now you can impress all of your less-knowledgeable friends with your super high IWQ (Itao's Wife Quotient). I will keep an eye out for new developments as well as any new information I can find. Thank you for taking the time to read this... monster... post.

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Monday, February 15, 2010

In the Spirit of Kill Bill!

*climbs out from under a pile of work and papers*

Well, hello there, everyone.

It's been quite some time since I've posted anything video around here. Well, I managed to get some free time, and worked hard enough to squeeze out this BBB for ya!


Today's BBB comes from Cocorico Miracle Type, which was a very good show. The show mainly features Cocorico, Norito Yashima and three female actresses. They also tend to have special guests on the show.

The format of the show itself is fairly mixed, which is one of the things that I liked about it. Sometimes, it would be a mainly "talk-based" show, and sometimes they would break out comedy sketches left and right, and sometimes they would do longer dramatic pieces that might span a few episodes.

As the title states, today's BBB is done in the spirit of the popular movie "Kill Bill". Tanaka plays the role of "Uma", someone who becomes inspired to take revenge on people who have done her wrong, who are played by Norito Yashima as the counterpart to the cycloptic Elle Driver and the stunning Manami Konishi as the fake O-ren Ishii.

As we you know if you watch a lot of Japanese comedy, a good foreigner mockery = instant funny, and this is no real exception. All the characteristics are there: the fake noses, the staccato speech, the abuse of dialect when they seem to be struggling with standard Japanese.

If you've seen the real Kill Bill, you will be surprised at just how good Yashima does as Elle. Her incessant whistling and strutting really made me dislike her character. As for Manami, she's showing why she's managed to be such a big name. I will say that she seems to go in and out of her accent a little bit as the story goes, but she's really pretty. The clip also features Hiroshi Shinagawa, from comedy group Shinagawa Shouji as the angry Chinese man who smacks the "Gogo" wannabe for swinging around a mandarin orange. And who can forget Tanaka. Tanaka's "DAMARE, AHO!" will ring in my ears for days.

*dons slick, teacher's outfit*
The hardest thing about translating this episode is the... I guess you can call it "wordplay". It's not really wordplay so much as it is ambiguity and irony. As some of you may know, the verb "yaru" means to do. On top of that, "yaru" (殺る) is like the Mafia-esque way of saying to "bump someone", to "rub someone out", to "do someone in". You get the deal. It is basically a slang way of saying "to kill". You can hear the passive form of the verb "yaru", "yarareru", in here several times. We're lead to believe, given the context of Kill Bill, that the "yaru" they are using is referring to "killing". However, we later learn that is not the case.

*removes teacher's outfit and makes a quick change into a theater-attendant outfit*

Without further adieu, please enjoy this parody!




*dons nerd glasses, suspenders and breathes heavily*
You may not have noticed, but there's a plot hole in this video. During the yard fight scene, it's implied that "Uma" has a broom made by the legendary blacksmith Hanzo Hattori, and "O-Ren" doesn't know until then. That plotline was feasible in the real movie "Kill Bill" as Uma has her sword crafted, but it's not here. Why, you ask? Because the broom is in "O-Ren"'s house! It's sitting in the corner next to the door, and "Uma" picks it up after entering. HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THAT A LEGENDARY BROOM IS SITTING IN THE CORNER OF YOUR HOUSE?!


Tanaka, reaching for the broom in the corner.
Also, admire my Paint arrow-drawing skillz.



I usually post some sort of "conversation-starter" related to the video at the end of these to sponsor interaction, but I've been so busy that my brain is now fried, and I can't think of one. Doesn't matter. Much conversation doesn't happen at the end of these things anyways. Feel free to have some convo and get to know your fellow readers if you'd like.

See you later.

*climbs back under pile of work, papers, and costumes, possibly never to be seen for a while*
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Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Viewing Habits Poll Results and New Poll!

When I started this blog, I was pretty cynical about the "typical" Gaki fan. I thought they were "fair-weather" fans who only cared about Gaki when they had a New Year's Special and such.

So, in order to get to know you guys better, I decided to put a new poll up at the end of the year asking you your viewing habits.


A little bit after posting the poll, I realized that I didn't state some of the options the way that I wanted to. I meant to make the "A few clips here and there" into some category along the lines of "Any subtitled clip" or "Subtitled clips only". However, by the time I realized my mistake, it was too late to change the poll. I didn't want to just erase the poll because it would then discard the few votes that were already cast.

The results are as follows:
"I watch every week!" - 32 votes (21%)
"Just the Batsu Games." - 11 votes (7%)
"Whatever anyone puts online." - 99 votes (66%)
"A few clips here and there." - 6 votes (4%)
"Gaki? What's that?" - 1 vote (0%)

After looking at the results, my cynicism is pretty much broken. While there are some who just really care about the specials and such, there are plenty who try to enjoy Gaki for what it is.

In the form which I allowed the poll to run, this makes sense to me. I really wanted to get a feel of how many people needed subtitling before they even attempted to watch the shows vs. how many tried to understand what they could without subtitles vs. how many people don't really have much of a problem because they have sufficient Japanese skill to understand it all.

I could make another poll asking just that, but... meh. Why bother?

As you may have noticed already, I'm trying out a new scheme with the labellings, where I break up the labels into categories instead of one honkin' huge list. Also, to get your feedback on it, I've also created a new poll. Looking forward to hearing how I can better organize around here.

I know that by now most people have looked through everything around here and only have interest in the newer posts, but I wanted to make it more navigable from a new visitor's point of view.

Thanks for reading and participating!
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