Heysup, my fine, loyal, readers.
It's time for yet another BlackGaki Boredom Buster. This week, the players of Gottsu Ee Kanji take us into the apparently wild and comical world of prostitution. In Japan though, it's usually not a thing where you just go to a street corner in a less than desirable neighborhood. It's more like the things you see if you go to Las Vegas. There's fliers and cards with advertisements on it, and you call a number and they send a prostitute over to your house. If you're not happy with the prostitute's appearance, you can "change", which means you send the other prostitute back and they send you a different one.
In this skit, Hamada, gets the rare opportunity to call one of these services when his wife leaves town. The flier for which he happens to have the number for is for the "Busukko Club" which would translate to "The Ugly Girl Club", but I really wanted to translate it to the "Uggmo Club". I don't know how he managed to not see that when he called, or heard it when the operator picked up the phone. But when the girls actually get there, let's just say that Hamada wants change like Barack Obama buying one item at a $1 store with a $100 bill.
Sadly, I have to laugh at the sheer realism of the skit. I grew up in Portland, Oregon which for a long time had the bragging rights having the most strip clubs per capita. (Apparently small town in Virginia or something is trying to take the crown, or something. But as far as major metropolitan cities go, I think Portland's still got the title. Check this article out in the Portland Mercury newspaper, a fun newspaper to read if you're ever in the Portland area: Article. )
But let me tell you, quantity is DEFINITELY not quality. The general manhood ritual of going to a strip club when you turn of legal age can just be ruined by some of the things you see there. As some of you may know, strippers sometimes name themselves after precious stones, liquor, or luxury cars with names like "Diamond", "Champagne", or "Lexus". Some of the strippers in Portland should have retired LONG ago. They could have names like "Plymouth Rock" and "Model T". In an effort to keep a stable of dancer they pretty much just scrape the bottom of the barrel. Damn near literally. If you're over 18, check out the website for one of the clubs near where I used to live, look under Female Entertainers(link), and tell me that Midori doesn't look like a tranny and Talina just needs to retire outright. Seriously, one look at Midori... IT'S A TRAP!!!1!
Some of the clubs in the area, in an effort to distinguish themselves, occasionally host some sort of freakshow nights. My friend said they had conjoined twin strippers. That's... just... sad. Is one stripping and the other one's along for the ride? Were both of the girls together unable to muster up enough self-respect to refuse the offer? Do you have to tip in increments of $2? Which one holds the pole? That's something that I both do and don't want the honor of seeing first-hand.
See you guys on Sunday for another Gaki episode!
Read more!
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
Ittsuji Shopping!
Hello Readers.
When I tried to sub the planned episode, I was getting the same problem I had with the "Matsumoto and Eri" episodes, where it thinks it's only an audio file when I try to split it. So, I went on to the next episode, but will return when I figure this out. So I got it done in a day, there's a small part or two with a sub gap, but I'll fill that in later.
On a PSA-type note, be sure to tell the people you love that you love them early and often. No one has passed away yet, but my grandfather's mental health is deteriorating. He's confused half the time and belligerent the other half. He took some joyride 4 hours away from home on his own and got stranded on the side of the road when he ran out of gas, and refused most of the help offered to him. Police had to bring him home (not under arrest, though, so one minor plus). It hurts to tell someone you've known your whole life that you love them, and they can't remember who you are. The only reason he probably thinks I'm related to him is because I look just like my uncle. In fact, he calls my by his name even though I'm 22, and his son would be in his 50's now. So, just as a small forewarning, if my posting here is late, sporadic, crappy, or just generally absent for a while, there's a reason. Probably family business to take care of.
Anyway, I'm just going to put the videos and after the jump.
Ah, the Gaki No Tsukai dressing room. The beginning for many a hilarious episode of Gaki No Tsukai. And with sitting in the dressing room comes... no, not dressing (oddly). . . it's insulting Yamazaki! Even better than the prospect nekkid or half-nekkid middle aged men! And in from the shadows of the corner of the screen comes none other than... Itsuji Itao! (Okay, if you couldn't guess who it is after reading the title of this post, you either don't know who Itao is or you're the person the short bus stopped by the blog for. I'll tell the driver to wait for you when school starts.) And with Itao is his usual entourage of his "wife" and "kid". These are the new wife and kids, and the Itao's first appearance back on the show after the "divorce" from his more popular wife. But this one looks pretty similar to the old one as far as body shape goes, but shows more facial expression. She seems to have slight comprehension of Japanese, if you talk slow. Anyway, they come in their Betty Boop printed wardrobe which has become a signature for Itao on the show. (He doesn't wear Betty Boop clothing on any of the other shows he appears on. Perhaps it's meant to be a trademark of the whole family as a whole? Wife doesn't appear on other shows except Gaki No Tsukai.)
This time, as per usual, there's an introduction of the new wife and kid, and then the unveiling of Itsuji's brilliant plan for making a quick buck. This time, he's invented an Internet shopping show called Ittsuji Shopping, and he wants to pitch it in hopes that SOMEONE (read as "anyone close-by with money") will buy it.
After the intro, Itao's all decked out in a nice suit *SLICK!* and he's ready to introduce the product of the hour! Today's product will be Erection King! The miracle product promises to cure erectile dysfunction and help save marriages.
In the spirit of infomercials and general love of innuendo on TV, there's tons of phallic objects and hip thrusting motions in the introduction, followed by the testimonials of "real" customers as well as a brief summary of the invention of Erection King.
After the first introduction of the product, Itao takes some quick prods at both Endou's fairly recent divorce from Chiaki by suggesting that maybe his love isn't enough but perhaps he could just bone her back into his life, and a quick jab at Matsumoto saying that he's probably impotent. LOL WRONG, ITAO. He may be a little too potent, or else he might not be getting this semi-shotgun marriage to his fiancee.
Then Itao brings out the sweat pants. These pants are just made of awesome and win and what dreams are made of. I want a pair. Someone make some. Now. He straps these huge phallic harnesses onto Matsumoto and Hamada, and then has them try on the sweatpants that feature a Wang Sleeve. He has them running around the studio feeling the man-centric design of the pants and then they are led through some light Jazzercise-style aerobics by Itao's Wife. (I don't think Itao can really get over the incredible dancing skill and success that his last "Wife" had dancing to 80's/90's tunes.) During this part, try to notice just how many times Yamazaki looks at Downtown's simulated junk and giggles to himself. You're married now, Yama-chan? Nice cover, but I'm not buying it.
After the Flop-a-Thon on Downtown's front ends, we watch another video about Erection King's other uses. This section features a fairly well-known comedian in Japan, who is part of a comedy team composed of himself (a foreigner) and a native Japanese. I'm pretty sure his name is Chad. I think. *note to self: research this later. It's on the tip of my tongue. He's always in cheesy Japanese commercials and short films where they need someone to overreact and speak a combination of Japanese and English* Anyway, let's just say, Erection King has many uses beyond a male stimulant.
Then, Itao moves onto the stereotypical "in-studio" explanation of how Erection King cleans everything and can ever cause time paradoxes. Then in stereotypical form of informercials, they play pretty much the same video that they already showed you two or three times during the allotted period and everyone goes "We've seen this already!" And then, it's time to unveil the items that you get when you purchase Erection King. You get a ton of Erection King in different forms as well as the sweatpants all for around 20 US dollars. *ponders calling*
And then they immediately sell out of all 30,000 available units. *slams down phone frustratedly* I just wanted the sweatpants. While Itao tries to convince Suga to purchase the rights to the show, I'm going to see. . . if I can get some of those pants.
I don't believe I've had this rated before, but I'd give it a 6/10 on my rating scale It's fun for the whole fami-- okay, it's fun for the grown folks and the incredibly immature. Things like this are why Gaki doesn't come on during primetime in Japan, and what's keeping it from coming on in most places overseas. That's truly sad.
Read more!
When I tried to sub the planned episode, I was getting the same problem I had with the "Matsumoto and Eri" episodes, where it thinks it's only an audio file when I try to split it. So, I went on to the next episode, but will return when I figure this out. So I got it done in a day, there's a small part or two with a sub gap, but I'll fill that in later.
On a PSA-type note, be sure to tell the people you love that you love them early and often. No one has passed away yet, but my grandfather's mental health is deteriorating. He's confused half the time and belligerent the other half. He took some joyride 4 hours away from home on his own and got stranded on the side of the road when he ran out of gas, and refused most of the help offered to him. Police had to bring him home (not under arrest, though, so one minor plus). It hurts to tell someone you've known your whole life that you love them, and they can't remember who you are. The only reason he probably thinks I'm related to him is because I look just like my uncle. In fact, he calls my by his name even though I'm 22, and his son would be in his 50's now. So, just as a small forewarning, if my posting here is late, sporadic, crappy, or just generally absent for a while, there's a reason. Probably family business to take care of.
Anyway, I'm just going to put the videos and after the jump.
Ah, the Gaki No Tsukai dressing room. The beginning for many a hilarious episode of Gaki No Tsukai. And with sitting in the dressing room comes... no, not dressing (oddly). . . it's insulting Yamazaki! Even better than the prospect nekkid or half-nekkid middle aged men! And in from the shadows of the corner of the screen comes none other than... Itsuji Itao! (Okay, if you couldn't guess who it is after reading the title of this post, you either don't know who Itao is or you're the person the short bus stopped by the blog for. I'll tell the driver to wait for you when school starts.) And with Itao is his usual entourage of his "wife" and "kid". These are the new wife and kids, and the Itao's first appearance back on the show after the "divorce" from his more popular wife. But this one looks pretty similar to the old one as far as body shape goes, but shows more facial expression. She seems to have slight comprehension of Japanese, if you talk slow. Anyway, they come in their Betty Boop printed wardrobe which has become a signature for Itao on the show. (He doesn't wear Betty Boop clothing on any of the other shows he appears on. Perhaps it's meant to be a trademark of the whole family as a whole? Wife doesn't appear on other shows except Gaki No Tsukai.)
This time, as per usual, there's an introduction of the new wife and kid, and then the unveiling of Itsuji's brilliant plan for making a quick buck. This time, he's invented an Internet shopping show called Ittsuji Shopping, and he wants to pitch it in hopes that SOMEONE (read as "anyone close-by with money") will buy it.
After the intro, Itao's all decked out in a nice suit *SLICK!* and he's ready to introduce the product of the hour! Today's product will be Erection King! The miracle product promises to cure erectile dysfunction and help save marriages.
In the spirit of infomercials and general love of innuendo on TV, there's tons of phallic objects and hip thrusting motions in the introduction, followed by the testimonials of "real" customers as well as a brief summary of the invention of Erection King.
After the first introduction of the product, Itao takes some quick prods at both Endou's fairly recent divorce from Chiaki by suggesting that maybe his love isn't enough but perhaps he could just bone her back into his life, and a quick jab at Matsumoto saying that he's probably impotent. LOL WRONG, ITAO. He may be a little too potent, or else he might not be getting this semi-shotgun marriage to his fiancee.
Then Itao brings out the sweat pants. These pants are just made of awesome and win and what dreams are made of. I want a pair. Someone make some. Now. He straps these huge phallic harnesses onto Matsumoto and Hamada, and then has them try on the sweatpants that feature a Wang Sleeve. He has them running around the studio feeling the man-centric design of the pants and then they are led through some light Jazzercise-style aerobics by Itao's Wife. (I don't think Itao can really get over the incredible dancing skill and success that his last "Wife" had dancing to 80's/90's tunes.) During this part, try to notice just how many times Yamazaki looks at Downtown's simulated junk and giggles to himself. You're married now, Yama-chan? Nice cover, but I'm not buying it.
After the Flop-a-Thon on Downtown's front ends, we watch another video about Erection King's other uses. This section features a fairly well-known comedian in Japan, who is part of a comedy team composed of himself (a foreigner) and a native Japanese. I'm pretty sure his name is Chad. I think. *note to self: research this later. It's on the tip of my tongue. He's always in cheesy Japanese commercials and short films where they need someone to overreact and speak a combination of Japanese and English* Anyway, let's just say, Erection King has many uses beyond a male stimulant.
Then, Itao moves onto the stereotypical "in-studio" explanation of how Erection King cleans everything and can ever cause time paradoxes. Then in stereotypical form of informercials, they play pretty much the same video that they already showed you two or three times during the allotted period and everyone goes "We've seen this already!" And then, it's time to unveil the items that you get when you purchase Erection King. You get a ton of Erection King in different forms as well as the sweatpants all for around 20 US dollars. *ponders calling*
And then they immediately sell out of all 30,000 available units. *slams down phone frustratedly* I just wanted the sweatpants. While Itao tries to convince Suga to purchase the rights to the show, I'm going to see. . . if I can get some of those pants.
I don't believe I've had this rated before, but I'd give it a 6/10 on my rating scale It's fun for the whole fami-- okay, it's fun for the grown folks and the incredibly immature. Things like this are why Gaki doesn't come on during primetime in Japan, and what's keeping it from coming on in most places overseas. That's truly sad.
Read more!
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Happy 6 Month Anniversary!
On December 15, I started this blog in my dorm room, to give myself something to do and something to say that I bring to "the table", as far as the Interwebz goes. Over the past 6 months, lots of visitors have come to this site and made this little blog a home. *minor sentimental moment*
In celebration of having a 6-month anniversary without this place being shut down by the Feds -- *peeks out of curtains* -- I'd like to unveil a new segment around here! Like I wrote a while back, I'd like to put up some short videos from other Japanese comedies, with stress and emphasis being on "short". I think I'll try focusing on some of Downtown or Cocorico's other shows (Yamazaki doesn't have any other shows with the exception of the occasional pity appearance on Downtown's music and talk show "Downtown DX", probably due to his high concentration of FAIL per square inch) but my occasionally stray into the world of Japanese comedy at large and bring you some different acts.
Also, the usual updates: Done a lot of cleaning up on the Request Post, and mixed in some of the requests into the mix. Note that due to the long list of episodes that I really want to get to, your requests there may get pushed to the rear.
Also, I have added a new poll to the main page: "What's your favorite Recurring Series/Themes?" As you can see, it is MONSTER HUGE. You are allowed to select multiple answers for it, because otherwise I'm sure that there would be some that get no votes. I would say try to vote for 3-4? I guess. Whatever's clever. That poll closes at the end of July, so you've got a month and half. Unlike our first poll, I'm not planning some sort of special week for the winner. Also, I'm aware there's some series that I kinda left out. I just didn't want to add all of those things in there. o.o
Anyway, onwards, to the first-ever "BlackGaki Boredom Breaker"!
In our first installment of the "BlackGaki's Boredom Breaker" (BBB), we have some of Downtown's Gottsu Ee Kanji! In this short-- and yes, this is the whole skit -- piece, Kouji Higashino plays the part of the customer looking to buy a new pair of pants. The ever helpful sales clerk is played by You. No, not you! You! Seriously though, that's what she goes by, but it's usually in all-capitals, which we on the internet know means that you win at life, as "YOU". She's a singer, actress, and general entertainment jack-of-all-trades. You can do the wiki thing for more info here.
Before I start this though, I'd like to take a moment to say that I won't be subtitling the ever-popular 5 Ranger skit, as there's already subtitled videos out there. So with that said, hopefully I bring a little extra sunshine into your week! Enjoy!
Read more!
In celebration of having a 6-month anniversary without this place being shut down by the Feds -- *peeks out of curtains* -- I'd like to unveil a new segment around here! Like I wrote a while back, I'd like to put up some short videos from other Japanese comedies, with stress and emphasis being on "short". I think I'll try focusing on some of Downtown or Cocorico's other shows (Yamazaki doesn't have any other shows with the exception of the occasional pity appearance on Downtown's music and talk show "Downtown DX", probably due to his high concentration of FAIL per square inch) but my occasionally stray into the world of Japanese comedy at large and bring you some different acts.
Also, the usual updates: Done a lot of cleaning up on the Request Post, and mixed in some of the requests into the mix. Note that due to the long list of episodes that I really want to get to, your requests there may get pushed to the rear.
Also, I have added a new poll to the main page: "What's your favorite Recurring Series/Themes?" As you can see, it is MONSTER HUGE. You are allowed to select multiple answers for it, because otherwise I'm sure that there would be some that get no votes. I would say try to vote for 3-4? I guess. Whatever's clever. That poll closes at the end of July, so you've got a month and half. Unlike our first poll, I'm not planning some sort of special week for the winner. Also, I'm aware there's some series that I kinda left out. I just didn't want to add all of those things in there. o.o
Anyway, onwards, to the first-ever "BlackGaki Boredom Breaker"!
In our first installment of the "BlackGaki's Boredom Breaker" (BBB), we have some of Downtown's Gottsu Ee Kanji! In this short-- and yes, this is the whole skit -- piece, Kouji Higashino plays the part of the customer looking to buy a new pair of pants. The ever helpful sales clerk is played by You. No, not you! You! Seriously though, that's what she goes by, but it's usually in all-capitals, which we on the internet know means that you win at life, as "YOU". She's a singer, actress, and general entertainment jack-of-all-trades. You can do the wiki thing for more info here.
Before I start this though, I'd like to take a moment to say that I won't be subtitling the ever-popular 5 Ranger skit, as there's already subtitled videos out there. So with that said, hopefully I bring a little extra sunshine into your week! Enjoy!
Read more!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Itao's Car Crash!
(Original Airdate 7/18/1999)
Hello, hello! It's time, once again, for the Gaki members to let out some pent-up aggression with a dodgeball match. In commemoration of a new summer, the Gaki members head to a nearby park to shoot. [sarcasm] And like always, when Gaki doesn't shoots on location for playing sports, they always go off without a hitch. [/sarcasm] On the way to the location shoot, several things happen.
First, the other Gaki members put Yamazaki's ticket sales out in public, which made me laugh. It makes me smile to know that not everyone's just slobbering all over his tiny, shriveled testicles like the Japanese fan-girls do with the other, more testicularly-ample members.
The second, and in my mind the less gratifying thing, is they get into a car accident. The large Gaki location bus gets into a silent, non-fatal crash, all while staying about 5 feet from the car in front of it.
Stay tuned, BlackGaki readers, you are about to witness a tale of love, spilled stew, and murder on the dodgeball court...
It was a day like any other. Five celebrities, their manager, and TV production crew head out to do a shoot on-location in a local park. And like any other day as a Gaki member, when you do an on-location shoot, there will be several things that go wrong. So, yes, this will be a day like any other.
On the way to the park, Yamazaki tries to make friendly conversation with the other members about their experiences with dodgeball. When Endou tries to be analytical, Yamazaki takes the "sarcastic-ass" route and cuts the conversation short. Matsumoto, hereby demonstrating on why everyone loves him, blasts Yamazaki's ticket sales. For some reason, I can just see these empty audiences who come to see the shows. I'd wager a bet that at least 3 of the 25 people who came to see his performance in Nagoya were in his own family. Seriously, when only 25 people show up for a show, your material must suck. Even struggling comics can pull in 35-40 if they can get a gig. I can just imagine Yamazaki not being able to pull off a gag, and then resorting to whatever the Japanese equivalent is for the "Wow, all you ladies are looking good tonight" bit. Then, by his own mention, he only managed to sell about 1/3 of the seats in his performance in Tokyo. Haha, all these years on Gaki No Tsukai really built up your following, hasn't it?
Suddenly, the location bus stops. The car in front of the bus is waving the bus down to pull over. The driver gets out, and it's none other than our friend, Itsuji Itao.
This episode shows prime examples of several comedic elements that I love about the Itao episodes.
First of all, these episodes are filmed on the streets, so there's usually bystanders just watching. I -LOOOOOVE- seeing the occasional passer-by get completely starstruck and defecate all over themselves. I present to you a prime example, the woman right behind Itao :
You can practically see her bowels loosening at the sight of Hamada! She then seems to emit some sort of dork-summoning signal which calls in dorky goon to pop onto the left side of the screen for a second. It's always fun to see how many people just watch, like I may have commented on in the "Itao Is Watching" episode, where there's a random bystander on the roof of the building that the cameraman tried to zoom in to hide, to preserve the integrity of the storyline.
Itao's signature on the Gaki No Tsukai series, besides his love of money, is his use of his "wife". Over the years, there have been many wives. The one probably most of you are familiar with is the one with the long ponytail who dances, as seen in the High School and Police station penalty games. I plan to discuss the history of "Itao's Wife" in an episode shortly, including some facts you may not know. Over the years, we've seen several "wives" come and go. I believe we're on wife number 9 or 10. Yet, I digress.
The second thing I love is the "I signal, you say" type of interaction that Itao uses. Itao's Wife is usually limited in vocabulary. In most cases, she's a foreigner that doesn't and thus there's she just has to take body-language cues from the situation and give her usual response of "mochiron sou yo!" ("Of course so"). It's hilarious when they fool her into confirming something that only hurts Itao's position in begging for money.
Okay, so back to the action. While trying to settle this little accident, Itao goes through the contents of his car. I don't know how hard I laughed when I saw the spilled stew. I don't know what it is about it, but I just crack up. Maybe it's because I found it funny, and Matsumoto just cracks up laughing when he sees it, thus making it thousands of times funnier. Maybe it's because it's poop-brown with broccoli floating in it. I don't know, I just find it funny. So for my, and hopefully your, viewing pleasure here's pictures of the spilled stew. XD
Itao then reveals the slightly less comical contents of his trunk, and then begins the usual negotiations for some money. They agree to pay for the car repair, but like almost all people are starting to do in today's litigious society, he brings up the "Oh, my neck. It may be whiplash" line. I wonder if we have seen the last of him for this episode? Okay, we haven't. There's another video right below this.
We knew this was coming. They show up again in neckbraces and toting X-ray pictures. They're injured, and seeking compensation. So, after another round of negotiation with the Cowardly Lion -- I mean Producer Suga, Itao decides to make the most of this appearance on the show and try to earn the money by joining the dodgeball game. When he manages to get his foot in the door, he weasels his wife onto the other team, so no matter which team wins, his family gets a share of the prize money. I SEE WUT U DID THERE, ITAO.
And in breaking news, there's been a death on the park. Not from a rapist, not from a serial killer. This time from a rubber dodgeball. Today, a woman known as "Itao's Wife" was killed during a dodgeball match after being struck in the leg and getting too damned excited. (I'll admit the clutching of the heart during the fall was so funny though.)
And in an act of stubbornness and love, Itao fights to get his wife an ambulance as soon as possible. The only obstacle in the way is the prospect of the undivided prize money. It's just not Yamazaki's day, is it? First his underachievement is put out in front streets for all to see, then Itao fake-demeans him.
About three hours ago, somewhere almost halfway around the world, Chuck Norris farted. Those sacred sulfur molecules wafted all the way over to Japan and into the nose of one dead Itao's Wife, and brought her back to life and all lived happily ever after. (Yes, I made a Chuck Norris joke, even 4 years after those things went out of style.)
Clarification note: There seems to be some confusion, in both my translation and the interpretation of the removal of the Wife's face mosaic. Matsumoto asks "You aren't Itao's wife, are you?" to which she replies "Of course." This "of course" meaning along the lines of "of course not". Since she's not really Itao's wife there's not need to protect her identity and they remove her face censoring. This is what errors in your subtitle files gets you, kiddies. They have been fixed to display a more clear and correct translation.
I don't know how to rate this episode. This is another one of those episodes that I didn't attach a rating to. I want to give it around a 6 on my rating scale, but then again I want to give it a 9 just for the stew. You guys have no idea how long I spent laughing at just the 20 second interval where they were showing the stew. I have no clue why I find it funny, but I do. I'll just go ahead and give it a 6. Mochiron sou yo. (Maybe I should create some labels so you can search episodes by rating? I think I might do that.)
Read more!
Hello, hello! It's time, once again, for the Gaki members to let out some pent-up aggression with a dodgeball match. In commemoration of a new summer, the Gaki members head to a nearby park to shoot. [sarcasm] And like always, when Gaki doesn't shoots on location for playing sports, they always go off without a hitch. [/sarcasm] On the way to the location shoot, several things happen.
First, the other Gaki members put Yamazaki's ticket sales out in public, which made me laugh. It makes me smile to know that not everyone's just slobbering all over his tiny, shriveled testicles like the Japanese fan-girls do with the other, more testicularly-ample members.
The second, and in my mind the less gratifying thing, is they get into a car accident. The large Gaki location bus gets into a silent, non-fatal crash, all while staying about 5 feet from the car in front of it.
Stay tuned, BlackGaki readers, you are about to witness a tale of love, spilled stew, and murder on the dodgeball court...
It was a day like any other. Five celebrities, their manager, and TV production crew head out to do a shoot on-location in a local park. And like any other day as a Gaki member, when you do an on-location shoot, there will be several things that go wrong. So, yes, this will be a day like any other.
On the way to the park, Yamazaki tries to make friendly conversation with the other members about their experiences with dodgeball. When Endou tries to be analytical, Yamazaki takes the "sarcastic-ass" route and cuts the conversation short. Matsumoto, hereby demonstrating on why everyone loves him, blasts Yamazaki's ticket sales. For some reason, I can just see these empty audiences who come to see the shows. I'd wager a bet that at least 3 of the 25 people who came to see his performance in Nagoya were in his own family. Seriously, when only 25 people show up for a show, your material must suck. Even struggling comics can pull in 35-40 if they can get a gig. I can just imagine Yamazaki not being able to pull off a gag, and then resorting to whatever the Japanese equivalent is for the "Wow, all you ladies are looking good tonight" bit. Then, by his own mention, he only managed to sell about 1/3 of the seats in his performance in Tokyo. Haha, all these years on Gaki No Tsukai really built up your following, hasn't it?
Suddenly, the location bus stops. The car in front of the bus is waving the bus down to pull over. The driver gets out, and it's none other than our friend, Itsuji Itao.
This episode shows prime examples of several comedic elements that I love about the Itao episodes.
First of all, these episodes are filmed on the streets, so there's usually bystanders just watching. I -LOOOOOVE- seeing the occasional passer-by get completely starstruck and defecate all over themselves. I present to you a prime example, the woman right behind Itao :
You can practically see her bowels loosening at the sight of Hamada! She then seems to emit some sort of dork-summoning signal which calls in dorky goon to pop onto the left side of the screen for a second. It's always fun to see how many people just watch, like I may have commented on in the "Itao Is Watching" episode, where there's a random bystander on the roof of the building that the cameraman tried to zoom in to hide, to preserve the integrity of the storyline.
Itao's signature on the Gaki No Tsukai series, besides his love of money, is his use of his "wife". Over the years, there have been many wives. The one probably most of you are familiar with is the one with the long ponytail who dances, as seen in the High School and Police station penalty games. I plan to discuss the history of "Itao's Wife" in an episode shortly, including some facts you may not know. Over the years, we've seen several "wives" come and go. I believe we're on wife number 9 or 10. Yet, I digress.
The second thing I love is the "I signal, you say" type of interaction that Itao uses. Itao's Wife is usually limited in vocabulary. In most cases, she's a foreigner that doesn't and thus there's she just has to take body-language cues from the situation and give her usual response of "mochiron sou yo!" ("Of course so"). It's hilarious when they fool her into confirming something that only hurts Itao's position in begging for money.
Okay, so back to the action. While trying to settle this little accident, Itao goes through the contents of his car. I don't know how hard I laughed when I saw the spilled stew. I don't know what it is about it, but I just crack up. Maybe it's because I found it funny, and Matsumoto just cracks up laughing when he sees it, thus making it thousands of times funnier. Maybe it's because it's poop-brown with broccoli floating in it. I don't know, I just find it funny. So for my, and hopefully your, viewing pleasure here's pictures of the spilled stew. XD
Itao then reveals the slightly less comical contents of his trunk, and then begins the usual negotiations for some money. They agree to pay for the car repair, but like almost all people are starting to do in today's litigious society, he brings up the "Oh, my neck. It may be whiplash" line. I wonder if we have seen the last of him for this episode? Okay, we haven't. There's another video right below this.
We knew this was coming. They show up again in neckbraces and toting X-ray pictures. They're injured, and seeking compensation. So, after another round of negotiation with the Cowardly Lion -- I mean Producer Suga, Itao decides to make the most of this appearance on the show and try to earn the money by joining the dodgeball game. When he manages to get his foot in the door, he weasels his wife onto the other team, so no matter which team wins, his family gets a share of the prize money. I SEE WUT U DID THERE, ITAO.
And in breaking news, there's been a death on the park. Not from a rapist, not from a serial killer. This time from a rubber dodgeball. Today, a woman known as "Itao's Wife" was killed during a dodgeball match after being struck in the leg and getting too damned excited. (I'll admit the clutching of the heart during the fall was so funny though.)
And in an act of stubbornness and love, Itao fights to get his wife an ambulance as soon as possible. The only obstacle in the way is the prospect of the undivided prize money. It's just not Yamazaki's day, is it? First his underachievement is put out in front streets for all to see, then Itao fake-demeans him.
About three hours ago, somewhere almost halfway around the world, Chuck Norris farted. Those sacred sulfur molecules wafted all the way over to Japan and into the nose of one dead Itao's Wife, and brought her back to life and all lived happily ever after. (Yes, I made a Chuck Norris joke, even 4 years after those things went out of style.)
Clarification note: There seems to be some confusion, in both my translation and the interpretation of the removal of the Wife's face mosaic. Matsumoto asks "You aren't Itao's wife, are you?" to which she replies "Of course." This "of course" meaning along the lines of "of course not". Since she's not really Itao's wife there's not need to protect her identity and they remove her face censoring. This is what errors in your subtitle files gets you, kiddies. They have been fixed to display a more clear and correct translation.
I don't know how to rate this episode. This is another one of those episodes that I didn't attach a rating to. I want to give it around a 6 on my rating scale, but then again I want to give it a 9 just for the stew. You guys have no idea how long I spent laughing at just the 20 second interval where they were showing the stew. I have no clue why I find it funny, but I do. I'll just go ahead and give it a 6. Mochiron sou yo. (Maybe I should create some labels so you can search episodes by rating? I think I might do that.)
Read more!
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Matsumoto's Challenge: Skateboarding!
"Matsumoto Week" comes to a close here at BlackGaki with this episode, again from the "Matsumoto's Challenge" series. I wanted to do the "Matsumoto and Eri" episodes that someone requested from this series, but I can't get them to work right. Everytime I try to separate it so it will fit, all the programs I've tried using think it's an audio file. I can open the file and it plays as video just fine. Tried updating my codecs and everything. I'll try and figure out why that is, and then throw it up here to watch. They would have been a nice change of pace, and it's somewhat fitting given the news that he's going to be a daddy. So, minor bummer, as I didn't get to put in all the programming I wanted to during the week.
However, any Gaki is better than no Gaki, right? So today's episode really doesn't need that much explanation if you've seen the other Matsumoto's challenge episodes. Matsumoto wants to skateboard. Not just your normal "maintain balance while rolling" type of skateboarding that I still have yet to achieve. He wants to do tricks. Specifically, a "backside-grab, shifty frontside 900 air".
I'm most definitely not an authority on skateboarding, but using what I've picked up from playing "1080 Snowboarding" a long time ago on the Nintendo 64, I think I've been able to pick apart the nomenclature to dissect the elements of the trick. Any of you who happen to be more skate-savvy, feel free to correct/confirm.
"Backside-grab" = Rider grabs the board on their rear side.
"Shifty" = Rider's feet shift on the board in air
"Frontside" = The rider's front side is going into the spin.
"900 Air" = A 900 degree rotation in midair. 2.5 spins.
That sounds like an impressive accomplishment.
As it's a fairly familiar format if you're a regular, I'm just going to put up the movies and let you sit back, relax and watch. See ya afterwards.
So, it looks like they didn't try to research what a back... that trick is supposed to be. Oh well. It was still very funny in the process. Sometimes I wonder just how much Matsumoto is on what the other members are going to be doing to him. For most of these tries, he looks incredibly surprised, afraid or gets hurt (that surfboard thing lands on his wrist when he falls off of it). After this and the other Matsumoto challenge episode, I might have to see if I can't snag a copy of Hitoshi's movie "Dainihonjin". He shows that he might have some abilities to be a serious actor, like when he's in the dressing room with snot dripping down his face or in the other when he's about to cry.
I didn't actually give this episode a rating, in my big list of episodes. I wonder why not. I'll give that one a 5-star rating. It's got all sorts of natural, scared Matsumoto moments, combined with great comedic set-ups like the magazine reporter's "Wakarimasu wa~"s. Over time, these Matsumoto's challenge episodes become a struggle between Matsumoto and the other members to be the most outlandish. You can see the both sides surprising each other with their shenanigans. I love those moments.
Read more!
However, any Gaki is better than no Gaki, right? So today's episode really doesn't need that much explanation if you've seen the other Matsumoto's challenge episodes. Matsumoto wants to skateboard. Not just your normal "maintain balance while rolling" type of skateboarding that I still have yet to achieve. He wants to do tricks. Specifically, a "backside-grab, shifty frontside 900 air".
I'm most definitely not an authority on skateboarding, but using what I've picked up from playing "1080 Snowboarding" a long time ago on the Nintendo 64, I think I've been able to pick apart the nomenclature to dissect the elements of the trick. Any of you who happen to be more skate-savvy, feel free to correct/confirm.
"Backside-grab" = Rider grabs the board on their rear side.
"Shifty" = Rider's feet shift on the board in air
"Frontside" = The rider's front side is going into the spin.
"900 Air" = A 900 degree rotation in midair. 2.5 spins.
That sounds like an impressive accomplishment.
As it's a fairly familiar format if you're a regular, I'm just going to put up the movies and let you sit back, relax and watch. See ya afterwards.
So, it looks like they didn't try to research what a back... that trick is supposed to be. Oh well. It was still very funny in the process. Sometimes I wonder just how much Matsumoto is on what the other members are going to be doing to him. For most of these tries, he looks incredibly surprised, afraid or gets hurt (that surfboard thing lands on his wrist when he falls off of it). After this and the other Matsumoto challenge episode, I might have to see if I can't snag a copy of Hitoshi's movie "Dainihonjin". He shows that he might have some abilities to be a serious actor, like when he's in the dressing room with snot dripping down his face or in the other when he's about to cry.
I didn't actually give this episode a rating, in my big list of episodes. I wonder why not. I'll give that one a 5-star rating. It's got all sorts of natural, scared Matsumoto moments, combined with great comedic set-ups like the magazine reporter's "Wakarimasu wa~"s. Over time, these Matsumoto's challenge episodes become a struggle between Matsumoto and the other members to be the most outlandish. You can see the both sides surprising each other with their shenanigans. I love those moments.
Read more!
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Matsumoto Week: A Salute to Hitoshi Matsumoto!
The results are in and the BlackGaki readers have decided, with 54% of the total votes, that Matsumoto is most lovable member!
* Handclaps, confetti and fanfare! *
So, this week is dedicated to Macchan! I tried to pick just one episode to show off Matsumoto, but when I couldn't I just went and picked 4 or 5. That means, that I will be bringing you Matsumoto related releases ALL WEEK! Not necessarily every day, but every other day or so. So be sure to check back for more! It's going to be a proverbial Matsumoto festival! (Hmm... Festival... "Matsuri"... Matsumoto... Matsumotori?!)
You don't really have to read after the jump. It's just some random factoids on Matsumoto. Had to put something after it. *shrug*
Also, other general housekeeping:
- I have done some updating on the "General Request Page" and removed some of the older comments. I've also figured out how to move the post some, but it may break the links to it in other posts, I may have to fiddle around with that. I'll try to keep it somewhere on the front page, so it is easy to find.
- I'm cooking up some new polls for you guys to participate in, just haven't gotten around to actually making them. Keep an eye out for those.
- I'm planning on introducing some sort of "Midweek Comedy Break!" segment, that will feature SHORT clips (i.e. not whole episodes) of other funny shows, most likely shows featuring Downtown or Cocorico. (GNT is Yamazaki's only regular show, so he doesn't get much other airtime. Ha!)
Hitoshi Matsumoto is quite obviously the best person to ever walk the face of the planet Earth... EVAR!
Okay, but honestly, hrm... some factoids I can list off the top of my head that most Gaki fans might not know...
- He WAS known for not wanting to have kids, because children would get between him and his wife's relationship. On other shows that he appears on, they often try to set him up with women. He's gotten married now, and having a baby with Ihara Rin, who was a newscaster.
- Usually speaks in Kansai dialect, as he is from the Kansai region. (Semi-duh.)
- He quit smoking in 2003. He never really gives a reason why he did it. Even so, he doesn't push other Gaki members to stop.
- Once had a dog named Peru.
- Is partly responsible for the comedy group now known as "Summers" changing it's name.
- Along with Hamada, currently hosts NUMEROUS televisions shows and hosted several with Hamada in the past. (Two of my favorites, Lincoln and Gottsu Ee Kanji, may make an appearance on here from time to time.)
Hrm, I can't think of many other interesting things about him that you couldn't find on Wikipedia or the like. Anyone else have some they want to share?
*AH! I've got one more. Let me check the episode to make sure I get the name right*
Read more!
* Handclaps, confetti and fanfare! *
So, this week is dedicated to Macchan! I tried to pick just one episode to show off Matsumoto, but when I couldn't I just went and picked 4 or 5. That means, that I will be bringing you Matsumoto related releases ALL WEEK! Not necessarily every day, but every other day or so. So be sure to check back for more! It's going to be a proverbial Matsumoto festival! (Hmm... Festival... "Matsuri"... Matsumoto... Matsumotori?!)
You don't really have to read after the jump. It's just some random factoids on Matsumoto. Had to put something after it. *shrug*
Also, other general housekeeping:
- I have done some updating on the "General Request Page" and removed some of the older comments. I've also figured out how to move the post some, but it may break the links to it in other posts, I may have to fiddle around with that. I'll try to keep it somewhere on the front page, so it is easy to find.
- I'm cooking up some new polls for you guys to participate in, just haven't gotten around to actually making them. Keep an eye out for those.
- I'm planning on introducing some sort of "Midweek Comedy Break!" segment, that will feature SHORT clips (i.e. not whole episodes) of other funny shows, most likely shows featuring Downtown or Cocorico. (GNT is Yamazaki's only regular show, so he doesn't get much other airtime. Ha!)
Hitoshi Matsumoto is quite obviously the best person to ever walk the face of the planet Earth... EVAR!
Okay, but honestly, hrm... some factoids I can list off the top of my head that most Gaki fans might not know...
- He WAS known for not wanting to have kids, because children would get between him and his wife's relationship. On other shows that he appears on, they often try to set him up with women. He's gotten married now, and having a baby with Ihara Rin, who was a newscaster.
- Usually speaks in Kansai dialect, as he is from the Kansai region. (Semi-duh.)
- He quit smoking in 2003. He never really gives a reason why he did it. Even so, he doesn't push other Gaki members to stop.
- Once had a dog named Peru.
- Is partly responsible for the comedy group now known as "Summers" changing it's name.
- Along with Hamada, currently hosts NUMEROUS televisions shows and hosted several with Hamada in the past. (Two of my favorites, Lincoln and Gottsu Ee Kanji, may make an appearance on here from time to time.)
Hrm, I can't think of many other interesting things about him that you couldn't find on Wikipedia or the like. Anyone else have some they want to share?
*AH! I've got one more. Let me check the episode to make sure I get the name right*
Read more!
The Matsumoto Martin James Hypnotism Show!
(I wanted to upload this last night, but stupid YouTube was down for maintenance.)
BlackGaki's "Matsumoto Week" continues with another episode! This time, like the last episode I reviewed, Matsumoto has something he REALLY wants to do. However, being so close as comedy partners, he only tells Hamada. However unlike last time, he wants to try his hand at hypnotism.
Hamada being ever so kind to his comedy partner, he enlists the help of the entire staff to play the victims of Matsumoto's latest venture. Also unlike the "Matsumoto's Challenge" series, this is not Hitoshi doing the High Jump, the hypnotism will be performed by his Japanese-fluent, westernized counterpart, Matsumoto Martin James. But seeing as Mr. James' powers of hypnotism are weaker (read as "non-existant"), the staff will have to play along.
Just like the Matsumoto's High Jump challenge, Hamada makes his entrance into the dressing room before the show in an unusually cheesy outfit. Speaking of cheesy outfits, what the hell is Yamazaki wearing? A shirt with cannabis leaves on it? What are we, immature college students?! Well, okay, I am. But are you, Yamazaki? I bet if someone threw a bag of it into your lap, you'd run off crying.
Aaanywho. We don't care about Yamazaki. He didn't win the poll. Matsumoto did. They've even made him his own set to host this new show, with a bench big enough for all of the prominent staff members to sit on. With Hamada acting as the assistant/announcer/commentator, the other staff members are put into a hypnotic state. The first suggestion which Matsumoto Martin applies is to Heipo, which is that of a chicken. Hilarity ensures. I don't know if did an adequate job translating the misunderstanding, but hopefully the note in the subtitles explains it?
So, the ever-pissed James retires to his dressing room to get a bite to eat. As you'd expect, a few follow to try and get Matsumoto to complete his act. I mean, it wouldn't be funny if they just let him leave and that was the end. So we try it again, with everyone coming to the agreement that they need to understand the damned instructions and do a better job of faking. So Matsumoto returns to the stage, and has to re-hypnotize everyone. However, his return act is to turn several people into Bruce Lee. More hilarity ensues due to an epic failure. However, one hypnotic suggestion does pass, thanks to Endou and his inner pervert.
With one successful hypnotism under his belt, James moves one to another suggestion. This time it's a gorilla, and the one tapped to be made primitive is the already slightly ape-ish Producer Suga. They would have ended the episode by now if something funny wasn't going to happen. And it just wouldn't be the same if it wasn't at least a semi-epic failure. Another apology, another excuse, another hypnotism. The last group hypnotism is fantastic, due to Tanaka's presence.
And Hamada, who is the biggest critic, winds up just ruining all the work. Not all stories have a happy ending for Matsumoto, I guess. I have no clue what I rated this video before, but I'm sure it was high, due to the monstrous amount of failure coming from Heipo and Sakamoto combined with Fujiwara's Bruce Lee face, all topped with a gay Tanaka and a nipple-rubbing Endou. I must say that even though it wound up being the entire episode, rather than the usual 10-15 minute opener, I enjoyed subtitling this release. It was easy since there were several things that were repeated over and over. Ha.
Read more!
BlackGaki's "Matsumoto Week" continues with another episode! This time, like the last episode I reviewed, Matsumoto has something he REALLY wants to do. However, being so close as comedy partners, he only tells Hamada. However unlike last time, he wants to try his hand at hypnotism.
Hamada being ever so kind to his comedy partner, he enlists the help of the entire staff to play the victims of Matsumoto's latest venture. Also unlike the "Matsumoto's Challenge" series, this is not Hitoshi doing the High Jump, the hypnotism will be performed by his Japanese-fluent, westernized counterpart, Matsumoto Martin James. But seeing as Mr. James' powers of hypnotism are weaker (read as "non-existant"), the staff will have to play along.
Just like the Matsumoto's High Jump challenge, Hamada makes his entrance into the dressing room before the show in an unusually cheesy outfit. Speaking of cheesy outfits, what the hell is Yamazaki wearing? A shirt with cannabis leaves on it? What are we, immature college students?! Well, okay, I am. But are you, Yamazaki? I bet if someone threw a bag of it into your lap, you'd run off crying.
Aaanywho. We don't care about Yamazaki. He didn't win the poll. Matsumoto did. They've even made him his own set to host this new show, with a bench big enough for all of the prominent staff members to sit on. With Hamada acting as the assistant/announcer/commentator, the other staff members are put into a hypnotic state. The first suggestion which Matsumoto Martin applies is to Heipo, which is that of a chicken. Hilarity ensures. I don't know if did an adequate job translating the misunderstanding, but hopefully the note in the subtitles explains it?
So, the ever-pissed James retires to his dressing room to get a bite to eat. As you'd expect, a few follow to try and get Matsumoto to complete his act. I mean, it wouldn't be funny if they just let him leave and that was the end. So we try it again, with everyone coming to the agreement that they need to understand the damned instructions and do a better job of faking. So Matsumoto returns to the stage, and has to re-hypnotize everyone. However, his return act is to turn several people into Bruce Lee. More hilarity ensues due to an epic failure. However, one hypnotic suggestion does pass, thanks to Endou and his inner pervert.
With one successful hypnotism under his belt, James moves one to another suggestion. This time it's a gorilla, and the one tapped to be made primitive is the already slightly ape-ish Producer Suga. They would have ended the episode by now if something funny wasn't going to happen. And it just wouldn't be the same if it wasn't at least a semi-epic failure. Another apology, another excuse, another hypnotism. The last group hypnotism is fantastic, due to Tanaka's presence.
And Hamada, who is the biggest critic, winds up just ruining all the work. Not all stories have a happy ending for Matsumoto, I guess. I have no clue what I rated this video before, but I'm sure it was high, due to the monstrous amount of failure coming from Heipo and Sakamoto combined with Fujiwara's Bruce Lee face, all topped with a gay Tanaka and a nipple-rubbing Endou. I must say that even though it wound up being the entire episode, rather than the usual 10-15 minute opener, I enjoyed subtitling this release. It was easy since there were several things that were repeated over and over. Ha.
Read more!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)