Endou's Hollywood Audition!

(Original Airdate: 4/18/2004)

Okay. So I've finally managed to get another Sunday release out. *sweatwipe* I'll probably do my usual "housekeeping" on Wednesday, for the BBB. I've got big things under my sleeve. *shifty eyes*

In today's episode, we get to see what it's like to be on the end of a prank. Endou has long wanted to appear in some sort of worldwide entertainment project, but has only been able to land a few roles in some Japanese dramas and appears on many Japanese TV shows. So when a famous Hollywood producer comes to Tokyo to look for new stars for his latest film, it should come as no surprise that Endou jumps on the invitation he gets.




Endou is lead into a room and is told that a producer saw him on television and was interested in making him a star. This immediately gets Endou's attention. Apparently, he has a soft spot for flattery. He's then led into the fake audition site, where three other people are waiting. If you look carefully, you can see that the man sitting next to Shin-Onii from recent episodes and batsu games. It looks like NTV's had him on their employed list for almost 5 years, I guess.

The fake announcer reveals the fake title of the fake movie, which is "The Last Hohohoi". The Hohohoi is pretty much Endou's signature move, and when he doesn't react, the audience pretty much should have been tipped off that this whole thing was a prank on them. The fake announce then calls in the fake producer, fake translator, fake assistant, and fake cast. All of them are Gaki members wearing the stereotypical "I'm really a foreigner" noses. Notice the hot stems on Tanaka, playing the role of a half-Chinese woman:



The fake audition continues with lots of fanfare and such. They don't really have announcers are such small auditions, do they? I could understand if it was something like an open casting call, but this is a closed session. Maybe this is how they do it in Japan. *shrug*

After formal introductions, the translator tells the Hohohopefuls *dodges rotten tomatoes* about the money to be made on this production: a whopping two million dollars!

In order to prepare and get ready, the producer has an assistant pass out the necessary supplies for completing the Samurai Hohohoi's look: hair gel and white briefs. Endou happens to be wearing his own briefs and will be using those for the audition. The other three go and change.

Then Yamazaki does what he always does on Saturday nights:

• Dresses up as a woman
  
• Bends over
• Shows his panties in hopes that it will catch a man's eye
• Clean up any spilled fluids off of the floor afterwards
  

I can only assume that the role given to him for this prank comes naturally to him.

With Yamazaki's obligatory "I'm an idiot" moment out of the picture, we can start the audition and see if Endou's going to be a star. The first two old geezers try to do the Hohohoi, and get rejected. Gotta love Matsumoto's "GET OUT!" after the first one. Even though he tends to say less than others when he does speak, his English pronunciation is probably the best out of the Gaki members.

The third auditioner, The Artist Later Known as Shin-Onii, tries his hand at the hohohoi. Apparently, he didn't know what he was supposed to be saying, so he kept saying "Hahaha". That's probably why they kept him around. Unfortunately, even he was eliminated.

With only Endou left, he's sure he's got this in the bag. Between being a Hohohoi master and being in on the knowledge that the producer seemed quite taken with him, his confidence was at its peak.



In an abbreviated remix of the Hohohoi, Endou impresses the production team and comes one step closer to the two million dollars that comes with the role of the Samurai Hohohoi. The producer decides to put Endou through a few more acting challenges.

The first challenge is using a toy light gun to act out an action scene. Basically Endou just looks back and forth and pulls the trigger. Good enough for a laugh. Challenge Number Two is the timeless pillow reaction. I heard that one acting coach does something similar to this. You get something incredibly lame done to you, and you have to overcome the lameness and act like it was seriously life-threatening. Of course, you don't want to overact either.

The third challenge is another HUGE clue that this actually a prank on the audience. Everyone who knows Endou knows that his prized impression is that of the somewhat spastic comedian/producer/actor Takeshi Kitano, who is also known as Beat Takeshi. Endou does the movements quite well, but for some reason the voice just sounds off here. Perhaps the acoustics in the room? He usually does a great impression of him.

Challenge Four is getting Endou to tapdance. He has to do so on the feathers that were just spilled everywhere by the pillow reaction challenge. Hopefully those are the feathers that have that little middle hard tube part taken out. Wouldn't want anyone getting hurt for the sake of my laughter (except Yamazaki). While Endou's tapping away, Hamada, playing the part of the American Hohohoi, loses his nose for a few seconds.

Challenge Five brings us to "Brokeback Hohohoi". The American Hohohoi turns out to be gay and makes moves on Endou. It's these types of moments that inspire homely, adolescents/post-adolescents to write horrible fanfiction about how these types of situation work out later on in the dressing room. Perhaps poorly written, generally Too Much Information, slash fanfiction doesn't hit the Japanese internet anywhere as hard as it does in English-speaking countries? If so, I've decided that I'm moving. (On a sidenote, I saw some SkiFree fanfiction the other day. Yes, SkiFree. That game you used to play on the old Macs with the little Yeti that comes out from the side of the screen and chases you down the slope as you try to avoid trees. Yeah. Gay SkiFree fanfiction. The skier falls in love with the Yeti. *passes out barf bags*)

Anyways, this prank comes to a conclusion as Hamada leaves after being rejected by the Samurai Hohohoi, and comes back with a bazooka. We are treated to the campy "ZOMG IT'S A PRANK, ENDOU!" when we really know it should be a "ZOMG IT'S A PRANK, AUDIENCE!". But we get one last picture of Endou and the rest.

I'll upload the talk for this episode soon. It's pretty funny. I'll hold out for that and then rate the episode.